


No Strings Attached (But I'm Unraveling)

by seasonalreign



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Bookstore AU, College AU, Fake Boyfriends AU, Happy Ending, Lance is lonely, M/M, Multi, Roadtrips, Skiing, homophobic parents
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-10
Updated: 2017-07-30
Packaged: 2018-10-17 04:04:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 28,917
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10586055
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seasonalreign/pseuds/seasonalreign
Summary: “You keep bringing that up,” Keith mentioned, shifting in his chair so he was leaning forward, towards Lance. “Mine and Shiro’s relationship. Why?”He met Keith's piercing eyes and didn’t blink. He wasn’t frozen, not exactly, because he could read Keith’s eyes. Could see that he was only curious. Slowly, he let a smirk slip onto his lips and looked over the two of them. He moved to meet Keith, inches apart. “Would you like me to ignore your boundaries? I thought it was common courtesy to give taken people some room.” Lance whispered.Keith paused to look back at Shiro before gazing at Lance. He felt Keith’s eyes wander across his face, from his hairline to his eyes, nose, lips and chin. He tilted his head, eyes hooded and smirk present, “Fair enough.” He responded, leaning back in his chair._______Lance's life hadn't always been lonely. It had been full of love and support at one point. It was due time he felt that love and support again.





	1. The Call

**Author's Note:**

> Lance gets the call he'd been dreading.

Loneliness wasn’t a stranger. Not to Lance.

  
It followed him every day, always haunting the shadows of his thoughts. It tormented his every step, every action, every decision he made; loneliness was his permanent companion. Sometimes it would make Lance laugh when the crushing emotion would rear its ugly head. He had been so alone, lived without any kind of support or love for so long that his loneliness had _become_  his only friend.

  
For Lance, life became a pattern of just existing with an almost unbearable weight on his chest. The shortness in his breath wasn’t because he was out of shape and walking up stairs winded him. It wasn’t because the sun beat down harshly on some days and Lance could feel the sweat drip down his back or because he had a medical issue with his lungs. It was because the weight of his loneliness wasn’t just an emotional weight; to Lance, it was physical as well.

  
Of course, his life hadn’t always been like that. When he was younger, he’d been loved and supported by his parents. So much that it was bordering on unbelievable. Lance had been happy then. His parents had cared about him, had been proud of him and expressed that. His siblings, older and younger alike, had been close with him. Of course, he had been a kid then. Lance was nineteen now.

  
He had his own apartment, his own part-time job and he’d done alright getting his AA degree- although that had only been because he’d done an accelerated course during his high school years- yes, despite his appearance Lance was actually a smart kid- and was working on his bachelor's degree in business. So, all things considered, he was doing well for himself. Carving a name for himself in the ‘real world’ and all that jazz.

  
Still, it didn’t take away the painful loneliness, didn’t dull the sharp claws of isolation when he would come home to an empty apartment at night. Of course he had people in his life. The people he worked with were civil and kind, and he had his close friends Pidge and Hunk, but they lived two hours away and worked jobs that demanded a lot of their time and dedication when they weren’t busy with their own college lives. Lance could never interrupt them and bother them while they were working, so they had drifted apart. Now he shared brief phone calls with them and met up every few months.

  
Harboring bitterness towards them wasn’t something that Lance felt. Sure, he was sad they’d lost their close-knit bond but he understood. Life takes people in different directions, it wasn’t any of their faults. Sometimes things just happen.  
For a while their friendship had kept most of the loneliness at bay. Pidge and Hunk had been his shield and when he lost them too, it had been hard.

  
Lance shuffled through the quaint, square-shaped kitchen in his apartment. It was a small area with the refrigerator pushed to the corner. Cupboards decorated the walls, following the turns of the bar. He didn’t have much time to eat before he had to be out the door and on his way to work so he grabbed a small granola bar, his phone, keys and wallet and left. Luckily he had been able to rent an apartment that was ten minutes from his college campus by walking.

  
Lance worked at the bookstore on campus. The store, Paladins Books, worked hand in hand with the library, ordering the books the library didn’t have and acting almost like a second library. It didn’t pay a lot but it paid enough and Lance had some savings. He also knew how to budget, which was a skill that every self-sufficient college student knew. Besides that, it was a decently quiet place to work and his bosses- Coran and Allura- seemed to like him well enough that they’d let him spend as much time in there as long as he cleaned up before he left.

  
Walking into the store, the smell of books and coffee rolled over him in comforting waves, soothing his tense shoulders and coaxing him into the employee room. Christmas was coming, the red carpet of cool breezes paving the way for the winter holiday. Being in California meant that it didn’t get too cold during the winter, but it always brought a particular bite that Lance constantly dreaded.

  
He clocked in, donned his vest and name tag and poked his head into Allura’s office to bid her a good morning with a flirty smile and a wink before dancing out and flopping into a chair by the computer and register. The shift he had to work today wasn’t a long shift, only six hours before he could clock out. Coran and Allura were the bosses everyone dreamed of; they were flexible with scheduling, trusting, caring and they gave breaks to their employees after every two hours of working.

  
Generally, the bookstore wasn’t one of the places on campus that could be considered busy during the school year. There were groups of students that hung out in the store because of the connecting cafe, but it wasn’t a place that was crammed full of angry, sleep-deprived students. Every year at the same times, like clockwork, they would suddenly be busy for a week straight, from opening to closing. Unfortunately, the first week of December was one of those times. At least once every season the professors would assign projects that would send the students flocking to the library to stock up on material. When the library eventually ran out of resources, the students flocked to the bookstore. Although it was good for business and definitely good for Lance’s paycheck, the constant stream wore on his nerves.

  
Lance was one of the lucky people who could say he enjoyed his job. Maybe he wasn’t perfect at it and it didn’t pay the greatest, but he put a lot of effort into his work and took pride in the shop. The unrelenting flow of customers was enough to let Lance’s mind slip fully into focusing on performing well and providing their customers with the best customer service he could supply. He jumped between helping people find where certain books were located and checking out customers ready to pay. His hands started cramping as it grew close to his first break. Scanning and bagging books, giving change and typing in barcode numbers was a lot of work for one pair of hands. Without a lag in the gush of customers, Lance had no time to let his hands rest. It was good for tips though. The jar that sat on the counter above the register was slowly working its way to full and Lance would take all that he could get.

  
Eventually, Coran walked through the doors and ushered Lance to the break room, taking over while he went on his first break. Although Coran was also a boss, he worked the register and around the store most days. Allura was in charge of all the finances and making sure the shop was doing alright- truthfully, she was more of the boss than Coran was even if they were both technically Lance’s boss. His bright and bubbly personality made working with the customers a better fit for him than working through piles of paperwork behind a closed office door.

  
Finally alone in the break room, Lance let out a sigh, rolled his shoulders and rubbed his hands softly, encouraging the sore aches to fade. On the counter, his phone lit up and a dulled vibration filtered through the air. Aching fingers and stinging cuts forgotten, Lance picked up his phone and accepted the call.

  
“Mama.” His voice was curt, harsh and straight to the point.

  
“Lance,” His mother responded, voice colder than ice. “Have you thought about what we last discussed?”

  
Lance sighed softly, eyebrows pulling into a frustrated frown, “Mama, I can’t change who I am because you can’t accept me.”  
“Fine, but don’t expect to be welcomed home when you come home this holiday with someone.” She spat out viciously before hanging up.

  
Lance sat down heavily in a chair, tossed his phone on the table and cradled his head in his hands. A year ago, Lance had come out to his family as bisexual. He had explained that he was attracted to boys as well as girls, but his family hadn’t heard past the boys part. All that they heard was that Lance, a boy, experienced attraction to boys. They didn’t care that he also felt attraction for girls, didn’t care that him being bisexual wasn’t the same as him being gay, because to them it was all the same.

It was ‘Lance is different’ and they couldn’t move past it, they couldn’t accept him.

  
That was when the loneliness had gotten harder to live with. Suddenly, his parents no longer loved and supported him. He was kicked out, forced to live on his own and figure out a way to keep existing in a world that seemed to hate him more and more as the days passed. Lance stopped trusting people, learned to live with a permanent cocky mask and moved on as best as he could. He could admit that it was hard to move on when his mother called him every six months to ask if he had ‘decided’ to stop being bisexual. As if he had the choice.

  
He hadn’t been expecting to go home for Christmas after being kicked out, so hearing that his mother was essentially demanding that he go back home for the holidays- well, to call it a shock was a little bit of an understatement.  
A sudden wave of dread and panic swept through Lance as he thought over the conversation.

  
_“Fine, but don’t expect to be welcomed when you come home this holiday with someone.”_

  
Did his mother expect him to come home with a boyfriend? As if Lance had time for that! He could barely keep his grades up and work at the bookstore, how could he have any time for a social life, never mind have the time to find a boyfriend. He could feel the sticky, hot burn of panic creep along the edges of his chest as he struggled for breath. Closing his eyes, he fought back the emotion.

  
Steely determination settled heavy in his veins as he clocked back in and took over the register from Coran. He was tired of listening to his parents try to change who he was, tired of listening to them moan and gripe about his sexuality. It wore him down every day. Lance was tired of letting them walk all over him and talk bad about him as if he was less than they were, just because he was bisexual and they were straight.

  
If his family expected him to bring someone home for the holidays, then he wouldn’t disappoint them. But he wouldn’t be bringing just one person.


	2. Possibilities

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Allura agrees to help

Lance was swamped. His apartment was no longer vaguely clean. Clothing was laid out in heaps, dirty and clean indistinguishable from each other. Textbooks, articles and his computer were spread out on Lance’s bed, mingling with loose papers, worksheets and crumpled papers.Unfortunately, Lance wasn’t able to escape the big seasonal projects. Unfortunately, Lance wasn’t able to escape the big seasonal projects. He might spend a lot of time working but he too was a college student.

  
Winters project was an assignment that he was gladly anticipating. His advertising professor had teamed up with his marketing professor this season. In advertising, his professor has given them the task of creating a poster for a fictional theme park. They’d been given free reign on the theme park. As long as the poster incorporated the various themes and techniques they had studied in class, they could decide everything else.

  
Of course, a poster was a simple seasonal project. Lance suspected that’s why his professors had decided to work together. His marketing professor had assigned a fifteen page essay on the theme park, due the day before they were released for break. They had to identify and describe a minimum of five marketing strategies that could be applied to the theme park, come up with an advertising strategy to draw in customers, and apply the marketing process.

  
The poster was the easier project of the two, so that’s what Lance decided to accomplish first. Although he had access to the library, and his wallet would have thanked him for using the books that he could borrow and return, Lance was a loyal employee and customer of Coran and Allura’s. After he’d been assigned the poster and essay combination, he had gone straight to Paladins Books and browsed the business section for the textbooks his professors had suggested their students use as resources.

  
Even with his employee discount, Lance ended up shelling out a hundred for his books. It was worth the dent to his bank account, if only to see Coran’s grateful smile and Allura’s soft gaze as he grabbed his bag and went behind the counter to start his shift. Paladins Books wasn’t necessarily in trouble financially, but they could be doing better.

  
Every penny they made helped. Allura and Coran could only afford to hire Lance and a couple other employees named Spencer and Derek, although they didn’t work in the bookstore, they worked in the cafe. Even with the money they made from the cafe, it was barely enough to cover inventory, pay their employees and pay rent. Lance wanted to help them, even if it meant he had to live paycheck to paycheck until he could earn back a cushion of savings.

  
To Lance, Allura and Coran were family. He wasn’t exactly sure if they feelings were returned, if they saw him the same way he saw them, but Lance was okay with that doubt. As long as he could help them, as long as he could support them when they needed him, then he was fine with it. Besides that, the bookstore was a good place to work on his essay, and he could use their printer to make a sample poster, just to see how everything would be laid out before he printed the final draft.

  
With the essay and poster project hanging over his head, Lance had almost forgotten his conversation with his mother. Almost. Of course, impending doom couldn’t be forgotten for long before it came crashing back to Lance’s attention. Although he was dreading returning home and finding people willing to be his fake boyfriends, the project demanded his full attention. Lance just didn’t have the time to fret over it.

  
He figured he could fret later.

  
With two days left until the due date of the project, Lance had the final copy of his poster for his advertising professor and was in the editing and revising stages of his essay. The stress that had gathered in his shoulders and back eased slightly. Lance felt satisfied with his efforts. Staying up until the early morning hours to finish the project meant that he had put a lot of time into it. Confident that he would get a good grade on both parts of the winter project, Lance finally let himself worry about the problem of going home.

  
Although he tried to keep it contained to his free time, he felt Allura and Coran watching him more closely during his shifts. They were analyzing his effectiveness and productivity, Lance knew. He couldn’t blame them for it in the least; he could feel his distraction eating up his focus. As much as Lance hated it, focusing during his shifts was becoming harder to accomplish.  
Unwilling to give Allura and Coran a reason to doubt his ability and value as an employee of Paladins Books, Lance willed himself to push personal matters away and focus only on his job. While it was true that he only had two weeks until he had to return home, Lance could deal with the issue of his loveless life later.

  
Fortunately, there weren’t too many people that came into the store. The mad flow of customers had ebbed and Paladins Books had gone back to its quiet existence. Lance would always be grateful for the seasonal projects because of the increase in profit it brought the bookstore, but cleaning up after Hell Week wasn’t something he could say he enjoyed very much. Cleaning up wasn’t something Lance liked to spend his time doing. The routine helped calm his raw nerves though.

  
The section of the store that held the informational books was in ruins. Thankfully, the shelves were still standing upright this time. Books lay littered around the area, half on the shelves half off, some stacked haphazardly in piles. Lance even saw some shoved into the corner and one or two books on top of the shelves. With a sigh, he started picking up the books that were scattered along the floor first.

  
Growing up, Lance had spent a lot of time in the library. He had lived near the local library and spent almost every day there, nose buried in books. As a teenager in his early high school years, Lance had volunteered his free time at the library. Re-shelving books was a familiar routine for him. It felt almost like coming home. He moved as if he was on autopilot, returning the misplaced books to their rightful places on the shelf. He had to get a ladder to reach the books that had somehow ended up on top of the shelves. Lance grumbled complaints the entire time.

  
Even though the store had textbooks and resources on subjects that were related to the various majors students studied, the other half of the store was stocked full of recreational reading material. Somehow, he always ended up wandering through this section of the store. Coran was manning the cash register so Lance knew he had a little time to browse through the fiction portion of the books.

  
Leaning against the shelf lightly, Lance flipped through one of the books. “If only life was as simple as it is in fiction.” He sighed, moving to return the book to its home on the shelf.

  
“Lance,” Allura said, appearing behind him without a sound.

  
Squeaking, Lance jumped back, clutching his chest, “Allura! Don’t _do_  that! Do you want me to die of a heart attack before my time?”

  
Lance watched while she sighed and crossed her arms. He gulped. Whenever Allura crossed her arms, he knew that the conversation was serious and there was no room for jokes or attempts at flirting.

  
“What’s up with you lately?” Allura’s stern expression faded softly into motherly concern. “You’re normally such a focused, hard worker. You seem distracted. Is everything okay?” Her hand rested lightly on his shoulder.

  
Allura was his boss, and that was the first thing she had established when Lance had been hired, but she treated him like a friend when it mattered. Always, when something was bothering him, she or Coran would take him aside and ask if he was okay. He knew they were there to help him if he ever needed it, but Lance couldn’t burden them with his difficulties- he refused to.

  
Still- he knew that this was an issue that he would need Allura’s help with. Not that he couldn’t get a date if he really wanted to, because Lance was handsome and cool and he could get a date by himself. But, at this particular point, he was at a loss. He couldn’t bring Hunk and Pidge home as his partners, simply because Hunk and Pidge had been his childhood friends. His mother would never believe that they were dating.

  
Admittedly, Lance had entertained the idea of posting an ad on the bulletin in the boys dorm, offering payment if two people would be willing to pretend to be his partners, but ultimately he had discarded the idea.  
He might be desperate, but he wasn’t that desperate.

  
If Lance took a minute to really look into why he was so frantic to find people willing to portray his partners, even if it was fake, he might have been surprised by how much spite was the main cause of his plan. On the other hand, spite was a good driving factor. Lance had had enough from his family and he was tired. He didn’t care how they reacted, if he could at least upset them then as far as he was concerned, Lance would have accomplished his mission.

  
“It’s just a personal thing. My mom called me a week ago. Apparently she’s expecting me to come home for the holidays, but she’s gotten it in her head that if I do come home, I won’t be alone.” Lance sighed. His shoulders dropped.

  
Allura paused, looking at him through narrowed eyes. “Didn’t your family kick you out for being bisexual?”

  
“Exactly! Why would I want to go back when they kicked me out?” Lance flailed his hands as he spoke, a frown building slowly on his lips. “I thought that I would go back with two boyfriends instead of one, just to make them upset, but I don’t know anyone on campus besides my professors, you and Coran.”

  
Allura’s eyebrow raised, her eyes twinkling playfully, “Well-”

  
“Allura, I’m not taking my professors home as fake boyfriends.” Lance deadpanned, crossing his arms as he shifted his weight.  
“It was just a suggestion.” She called over her shoulder. Her tinkling washed floated over lance as she started walking back to her office.

  
“C’mon Allura,” Lance whined, back hunched as he followed after her. “You know everyone on campus. Can you help me out, princess?”

  
Standing in the doorway to her office, Allura looked him up and down, humming thoughtfully. “When do you need to leave for home?” She asked.

  
Lance brightened slightly, “I’d probably leave a week before Christmas but if you have people in mind, I’d like to meet them soon.”

  
Allura tilted her head, eyes narrowed and lips pursed. Silence fell upon them for a second and Lance waited with bated breath. He didn’t know why he was so nervous for her answer, but he desperately hoped that she would agree to help him.  
“Be here at ten tomorrow morning. I have some people in mind.” She finally said, flashing Lance a soft smile before twirling around and entering her office.

  
Lance let out an excited whoop, a grin breaking out across his face. The rest of his shift flew by. With the possibility of finding people who would agree to his frankly bizarre request, Lance could breathe easy. It wasn’t a guaranteed thing, but even the possibility of it working out was enough to lift Lance’s spirits.

  
* * *

  
Lance was late. He was _so_  late and Allura was going to kill him. Last night Lance had stayed up until the sun had started to color the sky, working on revising and editing his essay. He’d finished it and had promptly fallen asleep amid the textbooks, laptop and papers that still littered his bed. When he’d gotten up, he looked at the clock and jumped out of bed.

  
Unfortunately, his leg had gotten tangled in the computer charger and he fell to the ground. His nose had started bleeding, but Lance hadn’t even noticed until he was washing his face with cold water. Grabbing a wad of toilet paper, he had thrown on a jacket, slipped into his worn tennis shoes and bolted out the door, barely remembering his keys, wallet and phone.

  
Running down the street with a wad of toilet paper held to his nose wasn’t his proudest moment, but Lance managed to get to the bookstore in five minutes. By the time the small silver bell rang out a greeting, it was 10:30 and Lance was heaving for breath. His arms braced against his thighs and soiled toilet paper clutched in his hand, he could only imagine the picture he painted.

  
Lance could feel the dried blood on his upper lip and he scrubbed roughly at it as he walked farther into the bookstore, panting. “Allura! I’m so sorry I’m late. I overslept and then I tripped and got a bloody nose and-”

  
Abruptly, Lance’s words died in his throat as he rounded the corner to Allura’s office.

  
“Oh my god, you guys are _hot."_  He blurted out, choking slightly at the sight of the two people standing next to Allura.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think so far!


	3. Rules and Roles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After finally meeting Shiro and Keith, Lance sits down with them to discuss his request.

Lance didn’t know why he was so shocked that Allura had found attractive people to be his fake partners. Ideally, he would have found them attractive. It would be easier to pull of the relationship if he felt attraction to them.

  
Lance just didn’t expect them to be as gorgeous as they were.

  
The two boys that stood next to Allura couldn’t be described any other way than beautiful. The taller of the two had dark black hair with an undercut while his bangs fell across his forehead and into his eyes as a shock of white. A gray beanie hugged his head, covering his ears. He looked taller than Lance, though only by a little bit. From the kind, amused sparkle that danced in his eyes, Lance could tell that he was a sweetheart of a person. His muscular body was clothed in a black and white flannel with a black undershirt that hugged his torso. Ripped black skinny jeans stuck to his legs like a second layer of skin, outlining his thighs. A scar ran across the bridge of his nose, but instead of marring his face, it added to his attractive appearance.

  
The shorter boy stood with his arms crossed, smirking at Lance. His sharp eyes were framed by dark hair and it looked like he had a mullet. He had a smaller build than the taller boy did, looking more like Lance’s own build if anything. It told a story of grace, hidden by long limbs and secretive eyes. Like the other boy, he wore a beanie, although it was red and black and matched the sweatshirt that hung off his body. Similar dark skinny jeans hugged the shorter boys legs. Despite the lack of obvious muscle definition, Lance knew that he was strong too.

  
“You look like a mess.” The shorter boy said. Lance could taste the humour in his voice as he chuckled, looking him up and down.

  
“My bad. Not all of us can get through Hell Week looking flawless.” Lance shot back, narrowing his eyes as he fought the color rising in his cheeks. He turned to Allura, ending the conversation. “The more important thing to address right now is why you know all the hot people, princess.”

  
Allura smirked, rolling her eyes fondly. “How many times must I tell you to stop calling me that?” She walked over to Lance and gave him a quick hug before leading him into the break room. Looking quickly behind Allura, he could see the two boys following them. Tossing his phone to join his keys and wallet on the table, Lance jumped onto the counter next to Allura and watched her work as she pulled out an ice pack.

  
Holding it to his nose gingerly, he looked back to the two boys. They stood next to door, watching quietly. “These are my friends. I think they’d be willing to help you out.” Allura said as she headed towards the door. “I have work to do so I’m leaving everything else up to you three.”

  
As soon as the door closed behind her, Lance felt the awkwardness radiate off him in thick waves. Clearing his throat, he jumped down from the counter and walked over to them. His hands clenched into fists as he introduced himself to them, ignoring the quiet, nervous tremble that danced in his voice.

  
“It’s nice to meet you, Lance. I’m Takashi Shirogane but most people call me Shiro. This is my boyfriend, Keith Kogane.” The taller boy with the shock of white bangs- Shiro- said with a smile as he wrapped his arm around Keith’s waist and pulled him into his chest.

  
As soon as Lance heard his own name roll off of Shiro’s tongue and saw him move to hold Keith, he turned around immediately. Suddenly he was grateful for the ice pack that blocked half of his face from their view; it hid the blush that rushed to his cheeks. Playing off a shiver as a shuffle to the table, Lance cleared his throat, rubbing his neck.

  
“Nice to meet you,” He mumbled. Averting his eyes, Lance sighed. “I’m just going to come out with it. I need you both to pretend to be my partners, probably for about a week. Through Christmas at least. If the holiday is an issue then it's alright, I’m sure I can get you back here by Christmas Day.” His voice was muffled because of the ice pack but he knew they had heard him.

  
Lance chewed on his lip as he waited for an answer. He deliberately avoided making eye contact with them. He knew it was a strange request and was preparing himself for the weird looks and the immediate ‘no’ that was bound to follow.

  
He was wrong.

  
“Why do you need both of us?” Keith asked, breaking the silence. Lance met his eyes, then Shiro’s and looked back at Keith. His previously cocky demeanor had vanished and he looked serious now. His violet eyes didn’t sparkle with the earlier humor; they looked grave and focused.

  
Lance closed his eyes with a heavy sigh. Although he hadn’t told many people about being kicked out of his house, it was never something he had looked forward to. The only people he had told himself was Coran and Allura, and that hadn’t been by choice. Allura had asked him straight out during his interview about his living situation, and Lance had decided it would be better if he told the truth instead of feeding her lies. In all honesty, she had only wanted to know because she was aware of the amount he would make if they decided to hire him. Allura had said that she didn’t want to be the reason he ended up homeless.

  
“Honestly? I need you both because of spite.” He admitted. Lance stood and started pacing slowly. The pain of his nose was no longer at the forefront of his mind. Keith and Shiro waited in silence; he couldn’t tell if they were waiting for an explanation or if they knew he had more to say. Either way, he appreciated their patience.

  
When his hands stopped shaking and he could bear to meet their eyes without feeling shame, he stopped pacing. He lifted his head and looked at them with a straight face. “A year ago I came out to my parents as bisexual and they kicked me out in response. My mom called me last week. Apparently I’m expected home for the holidays, but they’re expecting me to come home with a boyfriend. I figured I’d take the opportunity to upset them while I still have the chance. If being bisexual is enough to make them kick me out, I’d love to see how angry they get when I come home with two partners instead of a boyfriend.” Accidentally, his voice had slipped from neutral into strained bitterness.

  
He could feel it resting at the back of his throat, suffocating him with its tang of negativity. Features twisting into a snarl, Lance turned his back to Shiro and Keith. Pity wasn’t the expression he wanted to see marring their faces. Lance didn’t need anyone's pity. He didn’t want to be pitied because he lost his family, didn’t want to be pitied because he was alone and had no one. Being alone was fine. Sure, he struggled with it but it was better this way.

  
Picking up a pen, Lance scribbled his number on a loose piece of paper and left it on the table. He walked towards the door, shoulders hunched defensively. “My number’s on the table when you decide.” Muttering briefly as he passed, Lance pushed by Shiro and Keith.

  
“We’ll do it.” Shiro said, laying a hand on his shoulder lightly and stopping Lance.

  
Turning, Lance looked at them. Shiro’s hand was still on his shoulder. It felt like a hesitant plead to stay with them. The pity he had expected to see wasn’t in their face. It wasn’t in Shiro’s eyes or Keith stance. Lance could see the sadness, he could see they wanted to help, but he could see their determination more clearly. It shone brightly in the way Shiro’s mouth was set, was radiant in the way Keith watched Lance carefully.

  
The agreement wasn’t as much of a shock as it probably should have been. Before he had met Shiro and Keith, he expected that finding people to agree to this would be difficult, almost impossible. Allura had come through for him, and Lance was once again reminded of how much he cared for his boss. She had found Keith and Shiro for him, people who were not only gorgeous but kind as well.

  
Lance cleared his throat and gave them a watery smile as Keith reached out and squeezed his wrist, offering silent support. “Thank you. Really, Shiro, Keith, this means a lot.”

  
“What do we have to do?” Keith asked. Lance hadn’t known him for more than an hour but the tone of voice he had used- soft and calm, like he was talking to someone he valued- wasn’t a tone he’d heard in a long time.

  
He inhaled sharply and pulled away from them, moving to put the table between him and the two boys. After he had taken a seat, he waved for Shiro and Keith to join him, steadfastly ignoring the blush burning his face. Without waiting for them to be seated, Lance launched into explaining what he had thought up. Although he wasn’t sure if he could get his family to believe them- and Lance _knew_ his family would be skeptical- he had thought through everything.

  
In the past, he had never had any luck with relationships so he had no experience to pull from, but he’d been around enough to know what couples did. Lance explained that most likely, they wouldn’t get a warm welcome. He told them to expect his family to be condescending when they eventually talked. They would be there for a week most likely.

  
Of course, there would have to be some skinship. At this point, Lance hedged, hesitant. He didn’t want to upset Keith or Shiro, didn’t want to be the one to push something too far. He didn’t want to cross a line he was unaware of, and he made sure they understood that. They were responsible for any skinship that occurred, strictly because they were in a relationship. If they set the rules, if Keith and Shiro were the ones to initiate anything, they were in control. They had their own boundaries and Lance would do everything he could to respect them.

  
He cleared his throat, “Honestly, I’m a pretty touchy person in the first place so this ‘rule’ is for you guys. You’re the ones in a relationship. I’m single so I don’t have to worry about any kind of boundary.” Lance paused, rubbing his neck as he toyed with his phone. “The only thing I’m going to say no to is any sort of... intimacy. For one, that’s way too far to have you guys push yourselves, especially for a fake relationship. For another, again, you two are in a relationship.”

  
“What about kissing?” Shiro asked, cradling his head in a hand. “Is that too intimate or is that fine?” His dark eyes were hooded; he looked utterly at ease discussing this.

  
Lance envied him.

  
He hesitated, struggled to breathe and closed his eyes. Exhaling shakily, he felt the first tendrils of doubt wrap around his chest. “Um- no. Kissing is fine, Actually, it’s probably best if it’s an almost daily thing while we’re with my family. They know how clingy I get with people I’m close to. If there’s no affection, they’ll be suspicious.”

  
He went over what would mostly happen while they were with his family for the holidays. Lance explained the annual ski trip that they went on. Shiro and Keith wouldn’t have to shell out any money for it; the McClain family owned cabins near Yosemite. About an hour from the cabins was Badger Pass Ski Area, which was where they would go skiing during the week they were at the cabins. When Keith mentioned they didn’t own skis and didn’t know how to ski in the first place, Lance waved his concerns away. He would pay for their rentals and could teach them how to maneuver around.

  
Although he wasn’t sure his wallet would be happy with him, it would be worth it. Shiro and Keith were agreeing to a lot; they were giving up a lot, too. During that week, they would have to deal with a lot from his parents and siblings and Lance didn’t know how to fully prepare them for it. Paying for rental skis was the least that he could do for them.

  
“Listen, if you don’t agree to any of the things I said, that’s fine. You agreed to do this and I believe you. But I _need_ you guys to understand that pulling it off will be on you. Believe me, I want this to work but I would rather have this entire thing fall apart than upset you two and overstep your boundaries.” Lance said. He looked at Keith, then at Shiro and paused. “You guys are in a relationship and I will do my best to respect that. I can’t- I would never forgive myself if I upset you.”

  
Even if they had just met, he valued Shiro and Keith. They weren’t friends; Lance didn’t have any delusions that they were, but he thought there was potential to become friends. He liked Shiro and his soft determination, liked Keith and his biting snark. They went well together and Lance wanted to be a part of it.

  
“You keep bringing that up,” Keith mentioned, shifting in his chair so he was leaning forward, towards Lance. “Mine and Shiro’s relationship. Why?”

  
He met Keith piercing eyes and didn’t blink. He wasn’t frozen, not exactly, because he could read Keith’s eyes. Could see that he was only curious. Slowly, he let a smirk slip onto his lips and looked over the two of them. He moved to meet Keith, inches apart. “Would you like me to ignore your boundaries? I thought it was common courtesy to give taken people some room.” Lance whispered.

  
Keith paused to look back at Shiro before gazing at Lance. He felt Keith’s eyes wander across his face, from his hairline to his eyes, nose, lips and chin. He tilted his head, eyes hooded and smirk present, “Fair enough.” Keith responded, leaning back in his chair.

  
Lance nodded, stare pausing on Keith before looking back at Shiro. “I think it would be best if we met up every day for the next week. My parents expect me to be back home on the 17th, so if you guys are comfortable with it, you can stay over the night before and we can leave early in the morning. It’s not exactly a long ride, but it would be best if we got there before the afternoon.”

  
“That’s fine with us.” Shiro said, shrugging.

  
With everything basically explained to them, boundaries, rules and roles set, Lance gave Shiro and Keith the paper with his number and said goodbye. He had to start his shift in an hour and he wanted to take a quick shower before he had to work.  
When his phone buzzed with a text from Shiro and Keith, Lance saved their numbers and made a mental note to start a group chat after his shift ended.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who has been leaving kudos and comments so far. I read every comment I get, even if I don't respond. They mean the world to me and help keep my motivation alive. I promise to work hard to make this fic enjoyable to you as readers!  
> Kudos and comments are appreciated, I hope you enjoyed chapter 3!


	4. A Day of Firsts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance is down in the dumps but Shiro and Keith won't let him stay there.

Lance regretted it. Meeting up with Shiro and Keith was a disaster waiting to hit, and he wasn’t ready to deal with it. Eyes darting to the clock on his phone, Lance cringed and buried himself further under the blankets. Logically, he was aware that it would be a normal hang out- or as close to normal as possible. This entire week was purely to get to know each other and become comfortable together.

  
Lance couldn’t help that he was lonely, though.

  
He couldn’t help that when his demon reared its head, everything shut down and Lance could barely function. He couldn’t control the tears that gathered in his sea blue eyes, depths swirling with isolation so strong the threat of drowning was very real. Lance didn’t cry. He came close to it, couldn’t see through the blurred colors that blinded him, but he did not cry.  
Loneliness was just a part of Lance’s life now. It was the price for being himself. Never would he regret coming out to his family. He would never feel ashamed of who he was, he just wished he had someone to support him. Lance was alone, and he was painfully aware of it.

  
He grabbed his phone and pulled up the text messages from Shiro and Keith. They had talked for hours last night after Lance had gotten off work. They planned to meet at his apartment and spend some time watching movies. Movies were a class A bonding strategy, and Lance had a mean collection going on. It ranged from Disney to Studio Ghibli to Marvel and DC Comics. He even had complete seasons of various TV shows.

  
Hands shaking, he typed out a message. Lance didn’t want to think about the wheedling tone his voice would have taken as he begged to reschedule.

  
**Lance:** Hey guys. I’m not feeling too well- mind rescheduling?

  
He tossed his phone a little ways away and curled in on himself. The weight on Lance’s chest had become unbearable. His lungs stuttered, struggling to draw in breath and he cursed his emotional fragility, not for the first time.

  
A strong vibration shook Lance’s bed once, twice, and he groaned softly. Dread filled him as he read over the text message.

 **Shrio:** We’re already outside your door. Let us in, we can talk when we’re face-to-face.

  
Unlocking the door, he threw it open before sinking further into his oversized sweatshirt. Lance didn’t wait for them to come in before he was walking back towards his room and bed. He didn’t care if they followed or not. The numbness that spread through his heart made it impossible to care about anything besides the crushing blanket of loneliness.

  
As he crawled back under the covers to his bed, Keith’s gaze slid over him. “You know, you don’t _look_  sick.” He drawled, coming closer to Lance’s bed. “Your eyes look a little swollen and your nose is red, but you don’t actually look ill.”

  
“Did I say it was physical?” Lance snapped, glaring at the other boy’s smirk.

  
Shiro let loose a deep chuckle as Keith grinned at him, “Don’t worry. We’ll play Doctor.” He jumped up, clapped once and looked back at Shiro. “I call sexy nurse.”

  
Lance groaned, pulling the blankets over his head. He chose to not answer Keith, instead poking his head out so he could lock eyes with Shiro. “The movies are in the cabinet in the living room. You’re welcome to anything in the kitchen.”

  
Maybe if he’d been in a normal mood, he would have engaged Keith in his teasing. As it was, Lance could hardly breathe through the pain that rang throughout his chest. He was lonely and he was in pain, but being around them almost made it worse. When they walked in Lance had seen their linked hands and was reminded once again of how alone he was.

  
It wasn’t their fault and he didn’t blame them at all. Shiro and Keith didn’t know how hypersensitive he was emotionally. Lance hadn’t told them, hadn’t mentioned at all during the previous day that sometimes his mood crashed and he struggled to return to normal, struggled to pull himself out of his head.

  
So Lance closed his eyes and curled in on himself. While Shiro and Keith were picking out what to watch for the next handful of hours, he choked on the acidic bitterness of loneliness. If he was being honest, all Lance wanted to do was get them both to leave. It sounded rude, and he would hate to be a terrible host, but Lance didn’t think he could stand to be around a couple right now, no matter how kind Shiro and Lance were.

  
With his eyes closed and all his attention focused on his breathing alone, Lance didn’t notice that they’d returned back to his room armed with a handful of movies and the first season of Psych. He didn’t hear them call his name, didn’t notice when the tv turned on. He didn’t even feel the mattress dip as Shiro crawled into bed with him. The only reason Lance realized they had come back was because suddenly he was vertical with the covers to his bed pooled around his waist.

  
He felt a solid, warm chest pressed flushed against his back, arms looped loosely around his waist. Lance jerked forward, coughing out a strangled, unidentifiable sound. He could feel the burning rose flood his cheeks like water, smooth and effortless, but before long it was drowned out by the vicious, white-hot stab to his chest. Lance didn’t know where Keith had disappeared to.

  
Shiro didn’t look upset, just concerned. It was painted over his sharp features. “I know it's not a physical illness.” He said. It was quiet, soft, like the summer breeze that danced with Lances hair. “It's okay. You don't need to explain it to me. If it’ll help you can come back. If it won't then I won't push.”

  
Lance hesitated. When he had to go through these fits, he'd always been alone. He didn't have anyone offering what Shiro was; closeness, comfort. Skinship. If he did go back to Shiro, he had no idea what could happen. Lance was scared. He was vulnerable and emotional and sensitive and it wasn’t a smart idea for him to go to Shiro.

  
Lance fell into his arms.

  
He closed his eyes, shaking, as Shiro turned him around, gently guiding him back into his lap so that Lance was reclining against his chest. With Shiro's arms around him, Lance felt safe. He felt grounded and it wasn't a good mix, not with his current state, but he would be lying if he said it didn't lessen the iron grip of loneliness around his heart. That was why it wasn't a good mix, why Lance was so afraid to go to Shiro.

  
Keith walked back in. He must have gone to the kitchen because when Lance looked at him, he was carrying popcorn and chips. To his credit, Keith didn't even blink when he saw Lance in his boyfriend’s lap. He carried the snacks right to the bed and crawled in front of Lance, settling in his lap. He could feel Keith’s hand grip his, feel the soft, comforting trail of his thumb.

  
Keith left fire in his wake.

  
Lance could feel his chest stutter, could feel the violent shaking of his own shoulders. He squeezed his eyes shut. He had never been with someone through this, and here were Shiro and Keith. They weren't knights in shining armor, their presence didn't fix his emotional state magically, but they helped.

  
At some point, Lance had started to cry. Stuttering breaths and quivering stomach. Shiro’s arm lifted from where it had been resting lightly against his waist, catching the tears as they fell with the sleeve of his sweatshirt. His other hand carded lightly through Lance’s hair.

  
He didn't know how they did it, but there was the sensation of lips against his skin; chapped and soft, brushing against the inside of Lances wrist, smooth and gentle against the side of his head. Unlike the tracing of Keith's thumb, the kisses lacked any heat and all intention. It was meant to be comforting, and even Lance in his messed up state could understand that.

  
Another strangled sound tripped it's way out of his mouth. He shuddered, breath stuttering as pain laced through his chest. But he didn't pull away. He stayed, because maybe they couldn't heal him with a touch, maybe they couldn't pull him from this pit, but they were touching him with no underlying intentions. They held him with care, with patience and understanding and they didn't push. Lance stayed, sandwiched between Shiro's front and Keith's back as they watched _The Martian_  flash across the screen. Lance stayed, hurting and broken but feeling safer than he had in a long time.

  
After that day, it was unsurprising that the physical aspect of their fake relationship came easy, In fact, even if Lance had been in the right mindset, it would have come just as easily. The soft touches- light against his cheek, brief against the small of his back, gentle on his shoulder, heavy with care on his head and waist- were almost constant and it didn’t phase him at all anymore. If anything, he relaxed into each touch. The holds became more consistent when they were watching movies.

Sometimes they would collapse into a pile, a mix of limbs. Other times, they would lay with Lance sandwiched between them.  
It seemed like every second they could, Shiro and Keith were touching Lance, running their fingers through his hair, gripping his waist, his hands, his wrist. If he was honest, the constant attention and affection was a lot. It was almost too much; Lance was on the edge of overstimulation. He’d gone so long without any kind of physical touch that the sensation of two people smothering him constantly was like a drug and Lance was becoming addicted to the attention. It wasn’t good.

  
The first time they kissed was a surprise to Lance. Offhandedly, he had mentioned they should at some point get used to kissing each other. It wasn’t a demand to spend an entire day learning each other's mouths, it wasn’t a demand to be attached at the lips from morning to dusk. Nevertheless, Lance hadn’t looked up from the comic he’d been re-reading as he struggled to contain the rising flush.

  
The next morning Keith and Shiro had greeted him with kisses instead of the usual hug. As soon as they’d pulled their shoes off, Shiro had attached himself to Lance’s back and before he knew it, Keith was right in front of him. His eyes were steely with intent as he lifted a hand and carded through Lance’s short, brown hair.

  
“If you don’t want this, if you’re not ready or you become uncomfortable, push me away.” Keith whispered, tightening his hand into a fist in his hair.

  
Lance’s body jumped to attention. All of his nerves were alight and his body trembled with anticipation while his heart raced with anxiousness. “Alright.” He said quietly, voice scratchy with tension.

  
Keith pushed forward and met Lance’s lips. He kissed with the raw emotion his eyes held. Lips moving with confidence and intent, Keith licked Lance’s bottom lip, asking for permission. When his mouth fell open slightly, he didn’t hesitate. Tongues met and teeth clashed. There was no struggle for dominance, Keith was in control and Lance didn’t try to challenge him. He could feel Shiro’s arms holding him steady, constantly supporting him. Lance was safe. He knew and believed it with every fiber of his being. Right there, trapped between Keith’s burning mouth and Shiro’s cool support, he let himself get lost. They cancelled each other out. It was intense but it wasn’t too much. Lance didn’t feel anxious, didn’t feel scared.

  
When the wet press of Keith mouth disappeared, he felt his throat constrict with a whine of protest, light and airy. Before he could open his eyes, a second pair of lips replaced the loss. Shiro. Lance could tell, the tight yet gentle grip that was placed on his hips spoke of the taller boy. Keith had replaced Shiro’s spot against his back, molded perfectly as he placed dry kisses on Lance’s clothed shoulder and neck.

  
Shrio’s kiss was the opposite of Keith’s. Where he was all intent and control, Shiro was exploratory and calm. Where Keith was all fire, he was cool. He led the kiss with soft pressure, teaching Lance. His lips were soft, smooth and slow and gentle, everything Shiro encompassed. When Shiro broke away from him, Lance could feel his swollen lips, feel the awkward pull of his hair as it stood out of place.

  
They stayed close as his chest heaved and his face flushed. Hands wandered over his torso, up his chest and down his arms to interlock with his fingers. Despite the situation, it wasn’t awkward. If there was one thing Lance was afraid of, it was that. He was an awkward person, unsure and inexperienced.

  
It was his first kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tada!! yay. okay so, I'd just like to leave a little note that says this:  
> no, they're not dating. this is a fake relationship fic and Lance is Very Thorough when it comes to pulling something off.  
> Shiro was the one who brought up kissing first okay don't look at me.
> 
> Your comments and kudos make my world go round! Thank you.


	5. An Adventure Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For the first time, Lance, Shiro and Keith spend some time outside of their apartments

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: panic/anxiety attack
> 
> ______________
> 
> I just wanted to clarify something about last chapter: it's been a long time since Lance has been touched in a positive way. He's essentially touch-starved, which is why when Shiro and Keith touch him he reacts the way he does.
> 
> Okay, enjoy!

Saturday came fast. Although Lance was dreading going back home, he couldn’t help but admit that he enjoyed getting to know Shiro and Keith. They were fun to be around; it was easy to laugh with them, easy to feel comfortable. Any previously awkward pauses in their interaction faded way. Lance and Keith bickered good naturedly, Shiro would laugh and separate them and they’d go back to watching whatever movie they had playing or go back to a game they had paused.

  
They had alternated between hanging out at Lance’s apartment and spending the day at Shiro and Keith’s. It turns out, they’d been living together for a year now. It was a nice apartment, Lance had to admit. It wasn’t as small as his, wasn’t as run down as his. He loved his apartment, loved the feeling of ‘home’ he had worked so hard to bake into the tan walls. Pride was something he felt about his home. Sure, maybe it wasn’t as spacious or as glorious as other apartments, but it was his. His own slice of home that Lance had worked extremely hard to secure.

  
Although they had spent the entire week together, they’d never left either of their apartments. Lance hadn’t thought much of it- he didn’t really see the need to go out. Apparently, Shiro didn’t share the idea.

  
Packed bags were stacked by the door, ready to leave in the morning. Keith and Shiro had agreed to stay the night the day before they left so they could get into Lance’s hometown early. As soon as he’d woken up, Lance had gone over to their apartment to help them pack and take their belongings back to his apartment. Thankfully, Shiro and Keith were light packers so there wasn’t much to bring.

  
Nothing was planned for the day and Lance honestly wanted to stay in and prepare himself for going home. In less than twenty-four hours he would be back with the people who had kicked him out and shunned him for being different than they were. Perhaps that was why he was so distracted today. Lance didn’t claim to be the quietest person in the world, but he surely wasn’t the loudest.

  
“Let’s go out.” The words, uttered no louder than the normal volume used in a casual conversation, sounded like an explosion in Lance’s ears.

  
Pulled out of his mindless reverie, he blinked at Shiro dumbly. The words rang in his mind but failed to make any sense. “Huh?”

  
Shiro’s eyes crinkled into twin smiles, “Let’s go out. We’ve been spending all our time in our apartments. We should go do something!”

  
After hesitating, Lance nodded his head, “Alright, but where do we go?”

  
He watched at Shiro’s eyes darted over to Keith, glinted knowingly and met with Lance’s once again. “It’s a secret, but we know a place.”

  
Suspicious but unwilling to deny them anything, he followed them out of his apartment. After all, they had a point; they’d essentially been cooped up inside the entire past week and Lance couldn’t remember the last time he’d spent so much time in his apartment when he wasn’t working.

  
When they stopped by a small hole-in-the-wall ice cream shop, Lance thought that was the secret place until Keith tugged on his arm to pull him back onto the streets. Sunlight danced through the warm air on invisible breezes, partnered with light wisps of clouds. The city was bustling around them as they walked. Although there was a distinct feeling of intention that hung in the air, the city moved with a different feeling.

  
People moved with places and goals in mind, but it wasn’t the same movement as it was during the week. It felt calmer, more relaxed. It was far from the picturesque image of a deserted beach with waves caressing the shore, but it was enough for Lance to feel the worry ease from the stiff hold of his shoulders.

  
They twisted and turned their way through the city, weaving between people but never breaking from each other’s side. Lance was stuck in the middle of Shiro and Keith, as per usual. Keith’s hand grasped Lance’s with gentle force while Shiro had him tucked into his side, an arm resting lightly across his shoulders. He didn’t stop to think about the picture they made as they walked down the street; Lance couldn’t bring himself to care.

  
As they were finishing their cones, they reached the bottom of a hill. Lance eyed it warily and turned to the two men standing behind him, eyebrow raised. “Tell me we aren’t walking up this thing.”

  
In truth, it wasn’t that big of a hill. The incline was gradual and not steep at all, something that was easy to walk up. Shiro laughed, “We can run up it instead, if you’d prefer.” His laugh was raspy and deep.

  
“Oh joy, you’re one of those college kids that works out a lot, aren’t you.” Lance narrowed his eyes at Shiro accusingly, voice holding mock disgust.

  
Keith scoffed, “Look at his arms. You think he could achieve that without hitting the gym at _least_  three times a week?”  
“Monster.” Lance gasped, feigning betrayal.

  
The echo of Shiro’s laugh, dancing with joy, rang through him as they started up the hill. Lance hid a smile as he looked at his feet. The walk up the hill wasn’t long. Lance could remember seeing it in the past, he’d just never bothered to explore it. Due to the stop they had made for ice cream, more time had passed than he’d been aware of. The sun was starting to set, casting the world in a fiery glow.

  
By the time they reached the top, dusk was wrapping a cozy blanket over the town. Before Lance could look around, darkness enfolded his vision and he jerked forward, ambushed by the sudden lack of light. He could feel Keith’s graceful fingers resting lightly over his eyes. “What’s the big idea?” He grumbled, voice lacking any true heat.

  
Keith’s shaking laugh traveled through Lance. He could feel the soft press of Keith’s chin on his shoulder but he couldn’t feel Shiro. “Just wait a few seconds, alright?” He whispered. Lance could hear the unspoken plea in his voice: _'Trust me.'_  
Frowning, Lance crossed his arms and waited. True to his word, barely-there light filtered into his eyes as soon as Keith removed his hands seconds later. He’d chosen the perfect time, and awe filled Lance slowly, like water filling a pitcher. There was little light to see by, but fiery claws hung fiercely in the sky, resisting their daily deaths. It bathed the town below in a haze of red.

  
One by one, lights flickered on like fireflies in the night. First the lampposts that lined the streets, criss-crossing the town followed by the buildings of businesses and finally the lights of individual houses and apartments. It was a breath-taking sight. Lance hadn’t seen anything like it. His chest constricted with the image. The contrast of such colors was the most precious thing Lance had experienced in his life.

  
So lost in the picture presenting itself to him, Lance hardly registered Shiro siding up behind him, wrapping his arms around his waist. “Surprise.” He mumbled, nuzzling the side of Lance’s face as he ghosted kisses across his cheek. Keith slid in front of him, lifting Lance’s arms over his own shoulders as Shiro shifted to wrap his arms around his waist. The boy stood off center, shoulder falling directly under Lance’s chin so he didn’t block the sight.

  
The light faded fast until it was just the twinkles of artificial light. When the last ray died it’s fiery demise, Lance crashed back into himself. Shiro was still brushing kisses along his jaw, his cheek, his temple, but one hand now gripped his waist while the other held Keith. He was still pressed against Lance’s front. His arms draped across Keith’s torso in an ‘X’ shape, like the straps of a seatbelt.

  
“Are you going to be okay tomorrow?” The words whispered forward from Keith, caught on the wind and pushed back to Lance. He felt him lock their fingers together.

  
Tilting his head forward Lance sighed, “I don’t really know. It’s… It’s going to be a lot to deal with.” With his head resting on Keith’s shoulder, Shiro had shifted his kisses to the nape of Lance’s neck.

  
“You won’t be alone. We have your back.” His voice was muffled, but Lance could feel his mouth shape every letter. He stiffened to hide a shiver.

  
Air huffed out in the form of a soundless chuckle, “I know. It’s only for a week. I think I’ll be fine if they’re dealt with in small doses.”

  
Lance didn’t want to think about it, but he couldn’t stop the niggling thought at the back of his mind. Shiro had said they had his back, but for how long? This relationship was fake. He was aware of that, he was okay with it. They were friends now, and Lance imagined they would continue to be friends after the trip was over. His train of thought cut off as Shiro suddenly gave a sharp suck.

  
A quick, startled sound tripped its way out of Lance’s mouth as he tried to jerk away from the sudden feeling. He was unable to shift forward even a little. Keith hadn’t budged an inch. Although Lance couldn’t see his face, a smirk graced his lips. The second he felt Shiro’s chest pressed against his back, a dark blush lit up across Lance’s cheeks, traveling down his torso. He felt Shiro’s tongue snake out and lick across the mark he’d just made on Lance’s caramel skin.

  
Suddenly, Keith was gone from Lance’s front and Shiro disappeared from his back. He backed up and spun around, glaring at the pair accusingly. “You- I- my neck-!” He stuttered, shouting, as he lifted a finger to point. Shiro and Keith let out twin laughs, observing him with merriment swimming in their eyes.

  
Sticking his tongue out, Lance hurried past the pair, muttering under his breath, “It’s a damn good thing I’m taking the couch. The hell was that.” He shot a bitter look at Shiro, only eliciting a laugh.

  
The entire way home, Lance walked ahead of Shiro and Keith as he tried to control his blush. He rubbed the back of his neck and fingered the mark. His throat constricted on light breathes and grimaces as the pain-pleasure mixture flooded his body every time he made contact with the darkening patch of skin.

  
By the time they got back to Lance’s apartment the sky was pitch black. True to his word, Lance took the couch while he forced Keith and Shiro to take his bed. They each shared a hug as they prepared to go to sleep. Lance may have flicked Shiro’s head.

* * *

The bus ride back to his hometown took two hours. It wasn’t a long ride, but it felt like an eternity. As the miles passed, the dread built up inside of Lance. Not even the comforting and reassuring touches Keith and Shiro shared with him could put his mind and unsettled stomach at ease. The ride was tense, with Keith and Shiro making most of the conversation with an unresponsive Lance.

  
He knew they didn’t blame him; he couldn’t read any frustration in their gazes, he could only see the concern. Lance felt pathetic. So what, he was returning home? People did it all the time. He could do it too. The warmth that seeped through his skin from Keith and Shiro wasn’t enough to break his icy unease, though.

  
By the time the bus announced their stop, Lance was physically shaking. His breath came in erratic gasps. A cold sweat built along his back. When he blinked, Shiro and Keith were in front of him, concern bathing their gentle faces. Another blink. He was in a bathroom. Keith reached for him warily and Lance recoiled instantly, shrinking away from his outstretched hands. His vision shook and distantly, he realized it was caused by the rapid shake of his head. Physical contact was the last thing he wanted right now. Not while the world shook and fell apart. Not while the walls tumbled and crashed onto him.

His clothes felt too confining. The neck of his t-shirt felt too tight as he gasped for air, chest heaving. Eyes squeezing shut of their own accord, Lance withdrew into himself, blocking out the chaotic world around him. Another blink. Shiro and Keith were a decent distance away, now. He was grateful. With the distance increased, the room felt slightly larger.

  
He could hear a deep murmur. When he made eye contact with Shiro the sound made sense. He was talking to Lance. Steady, calm and soft, Shiro was talking to Lance. His smoky gray eyes screamed of his helplessness, of his longing to be close to Lance, but he knew Shiro wouldn’t come near until it was okay. Slowly, the ringing that had filled his ears with deafening volume began to drain. Shiro’s words became less garbled and more pronounced, becoming something he could understand.  
The second his chest stopped heaving and the world stilled around him, Lance’s legs gave out and he crashed to the ground. Unbidden, tears filled his eyes as he looked up at Keith and Shiro. “I-I’m so sorry.” He stuttered, voice trembling with unsteadiness. There was no excuse he could offer to them, no ounce of reassurance he could give them.

  
But it didn’t matter.

  
Within seconds, Lance was surrounded by Keith and Shrio's. He was cradled, caressed, touched, kissed. Shaking hands carded through his hair but amid the whirlwind of skinship, Lance couldn’t pick out who’s hand it was. Tears poured down his cheeks as sobs ripped through his body.

  
Their reassuring words and comforting sentences were blurs in the background. To Lance, their actions spoke a lot louder than their words ever could. The concern and anger that decorated their frowns and shone in their eyes wrote essays that could never be translated into a spoken language.

  
Pulling himself together wasn’t easy but it was doable. By the time they walked out of the bathroom, Lance’s eyes and nose were red. He gripped Keith and Shiro’s hands with more force than he’d ever used in the past. His family’s house wasn’t far from the bus stop. They walked three blocks until Lance stopped and stood in front of a door.

  
Hefting his bag onto his shoulder, Lance walked up the two steps and paused in front of the door. His heart picked up an erratic pace as he stared blankly at the wood.

  
He was home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aaand that's that. I'm going to put a warning here for the fic from here on. Lance's family is blatantly homophobic and accepting of who he is. If that's something that you can't deal with personally, please, please don't read. It won't be horrible or extremely detailed, but it will be there. I just don't want any of you to continue reading unaware.
> 
> Anyways, thank you so much for your support so far! I'm really enjoying writing this and your feedback consistently puts a smile on my face. As always, comments and kudos are appreciated! 
> 
> I hope you liked the chapter.


	6. Arrival

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance, Keith and Shiro have their first interaction with the McClain family.

The house was the same. The wide, open entry space led straight into the kitchen and beyond that, to the family room. The walls were decorated with pictures of the McClain family; school pictures, self-taken pictures and professional pictures alike mingled together.

  
There was a distinct lack of pictures that had Lance in them.

  
The house wasn’t large but it definitely couldn’t be considered small. To the left of the entry way, stairs led up to the second floor where bedrooms and bathrooms were laid out. Through the kitchen and living room, there was a ‘man cave’ on the right and another bathroom on the left. 

  
Although Lance could hear the sound of muffled conversation, he couldn’t see anyone yet. The kitchen was deserted and a breath of relief escaped his lips. Turning, he met Shiro and Keith’s eyes. “This probably isn’t going to go very well. If they say anything about you, don’t talk back to them. I’ll defend you but the less you interact with them, the better. They will pick your brain and dissect you in seconds. If they pick at me, don’t defend me; it’s nothing new. Please. We just have to get through this week and it’ll be over.”

  
Lance could read their unwillingness immediately. They didn’t want to stay silent and he couldn’t blame them. No one would want to stay quiet in a setting like that, but it would be best if they didn’t spend much time talking to his family. He trusted Shiro and Keith, but he didn’t trust his family. Eventually, they agreed with stiff nods of their heads.

  
Walking through the kitchen, Lance steeled himself and called out, “I’m here!”

  
When he entered the living room, every pair of eyes shot over to him. He swallowed thicky as his heart picked up its pace and adrenaline coursed through his body, leaving his legs feeling weak and his arms with a vague sensation of weightlessness. He cleared his throat and cocked an eyebrow, breaking the thick silence. “Where do we put our bags?”

  
He could feel the burning of their gazes on his body, saw their attention flick to the pair behind him, and back to Lance’s face. The presence of Keith and Shiro at his back was the only thing holding him steady on his legs. No one spoke, no one breathed. The silence was stifling, and Lance shifted, opening his mouth to speak before his mother stepped forward with a smile that appeared more like a grimace.

  
“Lance, honey. Welcome home.” She spoke with a mask in her tone. The confusion and poorly concealed discontent colored her voice ugly. “Who are these young men?”

  
His teeth ground together as his palms grew damp. Keith and Shiro introduced themselves politely, offering kind smiles in the direction of Lance’s mother and the rest of his family. As soon as Shiro had finished introducing himself and the room grew quiet once more, he lifted his chin and put on an appearance of pride and defiance. “They’re my partners, Mama.”

  
As soon as the words left his mouth, hostility flooded the atmosphere. The slightly inquisitive glances turned to disgust and outrage. Lance kept his head held high and his eyes hard as he glared at the room. There was no shame in his heart.

  
Andreina, his oldest sister, shot up and gripped Lance’s wrist with bruising force. He was jerked forward and away from Shiro and Keith before he could utter a sound of protest. Tension built in the room as Andreina’s green eyes flashed with suppressed anger. “You’ve never been with anyone before and now you’re telling us that you’re with _two people_ at the same time? And that they’re both men?” She hissed.

  
The volume of her voice meant nothing, everyone in the room could hear her clearly. Lance’s face flushed violently as his mouth twisted into an ugly snarl and he ripped his arm away from her grip. He rubbed his sore wrist gently as he leveled a hostile glare at his family before focusing his gaze on Andreina. “Don’t you dare criticize my life. What do you know about me anyways? My love life and its history has _nothing to do with you."_ He hissed back fiercely, “Or did you forget that it’s been years since _any_  of you last saw me?” Without waiting to see her reaction, Lance whirled around, grabbed Shiro by his shirt and snagged Keith’s hand. “We’re taking the master bedroom. Don’t come knocking.”

  
He marched up the stairs without looking back. The echo of a door slamming crashed through the house. In the room, Lance tossed his bag on the bed and immediately set to pacing across the room, back and forth at a rapid pace. His body was vibrating with unadulterated anger, mouth twisted into a snarl.

  
He turned his back to Shiro and Keith, poised to take another step. Suddenly, he was lifted off the floor and tossed onto the king-sized bed like he weighed nothing. Angry seas met infuriated storm clouds and fiery violet as their gazes clashed. Just like that, all of the fight drained out of Lance. His shoulders slumped forward and he planted his face in his waiting hands, exhausted.

  
“What the _hell,_  Lance.” Keith spat. His posture was stiff with barely-controlled rage.

  
“What do you want me to say, Keith? Yeah, I’ve never been in a relationship. Yes, my family is homophobic and of course, they despise me because of my ‘lifestyle choices,’” His fingers curled into air quotes as he spoke. Lance rolled his eyes. As if he could make a decision like that, as if he would chose to make his entire family hate him. There was no bite to his tone, no fire in his voice. Lance was tired and he didn’t think he could handle a fight with Shiro and Keith.

  
With his eyes closed, Lance couldn’t have seen it coming. Even if he had, he didn’t know what he would do. A large hand connected with his chest, pushing back until his back thumped heavily against stacked pillows, leaving Keith and Shiro looming over him. Their anger hadn’t faded even slightly. “We don’t care that you’ve never been with anyone. We don’t even really care about your family being so rude about differences. What we care about was the way that girl grabbed you.” Shiro didn’t shout, didn’t even yell. His voice was as smooth and deep as always. It didn’t need to tremble with his emotions, Lance could see them swirling through his clear eyes.

  
“That was my sister, and I’m fine.” Unconsciously, Lance rubbed his wrist. When he noticed their shift in attention from his eyes to his wrist, he dropped his hand and tried to shove it beneath him. He wasn’t successful.

  
Shiro and Keith were blurs when they moved. One second they were standing in front of him the next they were kneeling on either side of him, struggling to get his wrist out. Their holds weren’t bruising, they weren’t even close. Sure, there was obvious force but it wasn’t enough to cause Lance to cringe. Seeing his wrist didn’t help calm them down, it only upset them further.

  
Angry red scratches were forming around his wrist, highlighted by bright red, a reminder of his sister’s grip. Shiro’s composure broke as the sight. Held in his hands, Lance’s wrists appeared like small, delicate things, swamped by Shiro’s palms. To see such an ugly mark marring his skin was the furthest thing from okay the older boy could bring to mind. Lance watched as Shiro’s mouth transformed from an angry frown to a vicious snarl. In his eyes, lightning flashed.

  
“The next time something happens like this, I don’t care what it is, I’m stepping in.” Shiro raised his wrist. “Look at this, Lance! This isn’t okay!”

  
Lance sat up and lowered his head, worrying his bottom lip between his teeth as guilt flooded him. His shoulders trembled with the weight of it. The anger that rolled off of them was almost suffocating.

  
“Go get some neosporin and alcohol, please,” Shiro said to Keith. The bed dipped slightly as Keith crawled off.

  
“You don’t know wher-” Lance started before a sharp glance from Keith shut him up.

  
“I’ll find some.” His icy tone left no room to broker an argument, so Lance nodded and lowered his gaze to the covers below him. He heard the sound of the bedroom door slamming shut and flinched, closing his eyes tightly. It was just him and Shiro now.

  
“Lance,” Shiro said quietly. “Look at me.” The previous anger had melted from his voice in seconds. Eyes watering, Lance’s eyes flicked up to meet Shiro’s. His face was creased with concern and his eyes held gentle concern with underlying guilt. “Come here.”

  
Without hesitating, Lance hurled himself at Shiro, hands fisting in his shirt. He buried his face in the soft fabric as Shiro shifted them so they were supported by the pillows that decorated the head of the bed. “I’m so sorry.” Voice broken, an apology was all Lance could offer Shiro. Tears streamed down his face.

  
Warm air gusted past the top of Lance’s head. “It’s okay, Lance. I’m sorry we got angry it’s just-” Shiro paused to clear his throat. “We didn’t like seeing that. We didn’t like feeling helpless. Even if this is a fake relationship, Keith and I are your _friends,_  Lance. We have the right to protect you.”

  
The bed dipped as Keith joined them. His gentle hands urged Lance away from Shiro’s chest, but he stayed close. His hand threaded through Lance’s hair, thumb rubbing softly against the nape of his neck, occasionally brushing the hickey he’d sucked into the skin there last night. The alcohol stung as Keith swiped a cotton pad over the shallow scratches.

  
When Lance took the band-aid from his hand, Keith rearranged their positions. Lance was seated in his lap facing him while Shiro was curled around his back, thighs caging him in as his hands wandered with reassuring touches to his torso and hips. Eyes closed, Lance reveled in the sensations that assaulted him. The pair’s touches were so different from his sister's iron grip; soft and gentle along his chest, tender down his sides to his hips and waist. Keith’s hand wound through his hair, gently pulling Lance’s head to rest against his shoulder.

  
His tears fell onto their legs. “Does this mean you’re not mad at me?” He whispered. They pressed kisses into his skin; on his neck, his face, his cheeks, forehead, hair, through the fabric of his shirt.

  
“We were never mad at you.” Keith whispered, brushing the pad of his thumb against Lance’s high cheekbone. “We were frustrated.” He placed a kiss on Lance’s parted lips. “We have to last a week here. We’re in this together.”  
Sniffling, Lance nodded as he licked his lips. “Alright. Together.”

  
They skipped dinner later that night, opting to stay in bed together. Early next morning, before they left for the family cabins, they would leave to pick up breakfast and get back before anyone was out of their rooms. For the moment, the only thing occupying their minds was each other and their desire to stay away from the rest of the McClain family, to stay together.

  
Kisses were traded, lazy and sweet as hands wandered over shoulders, biceps, down chests, explored the valleys and hills of hips and traced the strong lines of thighs. Whispered conversations were held about anything and everything as fingers twined together and danced in the dimming light of evening.

  
Before long, Lance’s breathing was steady, eyes flickering underneath closed eyelids. Keith picked up the supplies and placed them on the bedside table before locking eyes with Shiro and nodding slightly at Lance’s motionless body.

  
Shiro bent and picked up Lance, shifting him carefully so he didn’t disturb his sleep. When Keith tugged the covers back, Shiro laid Lance back on the bed gently.

  
“You know, you could’ve just asked me to get up.” Lance murmured, smirk tugging the corner of his lips up. He kept his eyes closed.

  
Keith let out an indignant snort before leaping on top of Lance. The air huffed out of him as he smirked up at the boy on top of him.

  
“I thought you were asleep.” The words were growled, punctuated by kisses.

  
A giggle escaped Lance. He looked up at Keith and Shiro, a wide grin illuminating his face. “Thanks for being here. I’m happy to call you guys friends.”

  
Keith and Shiro exchanged glances and smiled down at him, faces soft. They bent down and placed quick kisses on his cheeks, eliciting another squealing laugh, before they flopped down next to him on the bed.

  
“You guys are really physical. You know you don’t have to kiss me and touch me when we’re not with the rest of my family. We’re used to each other’s touch by now.” Lance mumbled, shifting onto his stomach as Shiro pulled the blankets up around them.

  
The bed shook slightly as Keith shrugged his shoulders, “Actions are easier than words.” He said.

  
“And it’s become second nature to touch you.” Shiro added, reaching over to turn off the lamp. “We don’t really think about it that much, we just act.”

  
Lance hummed, the first tendrils of sleep wrapping around his mind. “I don’t mind. It’s nice. Just wanted to make sure you knew. Boundaries and all that.” As he spoke his voice gradually dropped into silence and dreamless sleep claimed him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry there was a week long stretch between updates. Normally I try to update twice a week if it's possible but I was extremely busy last week. I hope you enjoyed the update!   
> Comments and Kudos always appreciated!


	7. Settling In

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A break well deserved

Breakfast was a quiet affair. Before the sun had painted the sky a glorious golden sunrise and the birds decorated the still morning air with their upbeat songs, Lance, Shiro and Keith had left the McClain house. Walking to the nearest IHOP wasn’t an issue. Pre-dawn still clung to the vast sky above them. The air was tainted with a slight chill, only just held off by Lance’s sweatshirt. The walk itself was quiet, the sleeping neighborhood was deafeningly silent, the only sounds to reach their ears were the soft pitter-patter as their shoes fell against the sidewalk.

  
Altogether, it didn’t take long to get to the pancakes before they were sneaking back into the house, tiptoeing up stairs and quietly closing the door to their room. The employee who had taken their order at 4:10 in the morning hadn’t even looked surprised to see them there so early and Lance could only imagine the things he’d experienced during the hours when the town was asleep. Minutes after they had settled back into bed with the bag of warm food, they heard people first starting to move about and get ready for the trip up to Yosemite. Eating the pancakes took longer than it should have. Each boy wanted to stretch the time as long as they could. Although they did eat the pancakes eventually, by the end of it all three boys were laughing with whipped cream and syrup drying somewhere on their face.

  
Quickly, they crowded into the adjoining bathroom and grabbed washcloths from a small closet to wash their faces. Changing into day clothes was quick and effortless. There was no need to spend time packing their bags- they hadn’t unpacked. Figuring they had some time before they left, Shiro, Lance and Keith laid out in bed, bodies touching everywhere they could.

  
Lance smiled, feeling Keith grab his hand and twine their fingers together, playing with the digits lazily. His head rested lightly on Keith’s chest while Shiro curled around his back, tracing invisible designs onto his arms and chest.

  
“You know, it’s okay for you to initiate contact, Lance.” Shiro said quietly, shifting to lean against one arm and run his fingers through Lance’s hair.

  
Lance felt his lip curl at the corner as he mumbled “Boundaries” without opening his eyes.

  
“I don’t mind if you touch Shiro,” Keith said, breaking into the conversation. “And I’m sure he doesn’t mind if you touch me.”

  
Lance shrugged, sighing breathily. “Never really touched anyone before.” He paused. “I’m new to all of this.”

  
“We can teach you.” Keith offered, tilting his head to meet Lance’s eyes as they flickered open.

  
Gaze narrowed, Lance slowly lifted a hand up and flicked Keith in the forehead. “Hold any and all innuendos until later hours. It’s too early to tell when you’re joking and when you’re being serious.” He rolled over, planting his face in Shiro’s chest, muttering, “Also, because of that, I’m cuddling with Shiro now.”

  
Keith’s laugh rang softly through the air, filled with affection. “I’m always serious when it comes to you!”

  
Lance flipped him off, ignoring the blush rising to his face.

  
* * *

  
The family cabins in Yosemite were about an hour and a half from a ski and snowboard resort that the McClains had been visiting annually for years.

  
The drive from the house in San Diego to Yosemite was a long drive- about six and a half hours. It would feel like an eternity to drive there with the rest of his family, so Lance had taken the time they had secured that morning to prepare himself. He didn’t need to tell Shiro or Keith about the drive, he could feel their apprehension thick in the air. Because the entire family was going up, and Lance had a big family, they would be taking three vehicles. He figured that if they could take the furthest seats from the front, they could be left alone for the drive.

  
Surprisingly, he had been right. They had climbed into the first car with three rows they could find and buckled in, loaded with things to keep them occupied. Lance didn’t think the other people riding in the car with them would try to make conversation, but he still wanted to appear busy to discourage them, just in case.

  
For most of the ride, Lance napped, shifting between resting his head on Shiro and Keith’s shoulders. They spent the entire drive touching in some way. Anytime he would wake up, he would see Keith and Shiro share a soft smile with him, feel their thumbs brushing against his hand softly, and he would smile back at them shyly. When they weren’t holding hands, Shiro had has arm resting against the seat, laying casually around Lance’s shoulders like a security blanket.

  
During the times he was awake, the three of them would engage in soft, whispered conversation, interrupted only by Lance’s loud laughing when Keith made a funny face at something he said, or when Shiro would make a casual joke without even realizing it. They shared music, funny videos and told stories about their childhoods when Lance was awake to engage with them. When he wasn’t Keith and Shiro held whispered conversations about the trip, about Lance.

  
By the time they reached the cabins, the sun was on its descent across the sky. Sunset hadn’t occurred yet, and it would be a few hours yet until it did, but the time that had passed was obvious in the way the sun’s rays bathed them, soft and soothing. As soon as the car stopped, Lance slithered between the top of the seats into the trunk to grab their bags, then climbed back over.

  
Without waiting for the members of his family to get out, and frankly not caring if he crushed anyone's fingers or stepped on anyone, he crawled into the row of seats in front and pushed the door open, dashing into the cabins and snagging a room for him, Shiro and Keith before anyone else could take it. Even though there was a total of two cabins on their property, there weren’t enough rooms for the amount of couples that the McClain family had, and Lance refused to be one of the people that were stuck sleeping in the family room on the pull out couches and mattresses that would be laid out on the floor at night.

  
Keith and Shiro joined Lance, chuckling, after calling his name when they entered the cabin. They tossed their bags next to Lance’s before joining him on the bed with tired sighs. Driving six and a half hours took a lot out of a person, and the added hostile and disapproving gazes that had burned into them had exhausted them.

  
Before long, Shiro and Keith were asleep, curled tightly around Lance. He smiled softly at their peacefully sleeping faces before he wiggled out from between them. As soon as he was gone, their peaceful expressions disappeared into soft frowns. They shifted until Shiro’s hand met Keith’s stomach, and nestled together over the warmth where Lance had been laying. Laughing quietly, Lance shook his head and began unpacking them. Unbeknownst to him, Shiro and Keith continued to sleep, but not as easily as they had when he was between them.

  
He separated their clothes into what he assumed would be hung up and what could be placed in drawers. He laid out the button ups and decent shirts out to be hung up, along with the jeans, before folding up the sweats, shirts and sweatshirts and putting them in drawers. Each drawer held one person’s clothes so they wouldn’t get mixed up. He put any boxers and socks they packed into the empty drawers, also separated by who owned what.

  
The clothes that hung in the closet weren’t as organized as the drawers. Their clothes mixed together, but Lance figured it would be fine. They each knew which clothes were theirs, and if it bothered Shiro or Keith, Lance didn’t mind reorganizing so their clothes were separate. By the time he was finished unpacking, Shiro and Keith were starting to stir.

  
“Lance?” The words were hoarse and groggy, quiet in the room. Keith had spoken, his voice deeper than normal due to his sleepiness. His hair was mussed, sticking up in certain areas and laying flat in others. Lance could just barely make out his face, rose staining his cheeks lightly as he poked his head up over Shiro’s shoulder.

  
“I’m here, just unpacking. Go back to sleep, I’ll wake you guys up when it’s time for dinner, or if something happens.” Lance whispered, pushing himself to a standing position.

  
“Come up here.” Keith whispered, shuffling out of Shiro’s arms to make room for Lance. “You can’t say no.”

  
He laughed softly, huffs of air barely making any sound. “Alright, fine.” Laying between Shiro and Keith once again was warm. Lance hadn’t realized how cold the air in the room was when he’d been busy, but the blanket of warmth that was tucked firmly around him drove away any remaining chill.

  
Keith hummed, wrapping his arm around Lance’s waist and pulling him closer. He could feel Keith’s breath ghost across his neck softly with every exhale the other boy made. Lance thought it would have been annoying, feeling the constant gust of breath, but within minutes he was asleep, lulled by the consistent puffs.

  
When they woke up, the sun had set and the cover of night had fallen. The room was dark, the only light that filtered into the room creeped in through the crack between the door and the floor. Lance stirred, groaning softly as he blinked awake. As he sat up, Keith’s arm fell from his chest to his lap, laying limply across his hips.

  
Lance kneeled on the bed, looking at Shiro and then at Keith. They were still sleeping, soft snores escaping their parted lips. Hesitating, Lance frowned before shrugging and leaning down. He placed a soft kiss on Keith’s cheek, shaking him awake gently before doing the same to Shiro.

  
“It’s night. We should probably get something to eat.” Lance said quietly.

  
Together, they stumbled out of their room drowsily, hair mussed, clothes wrinkled and arms wrapped around each other. Lance ignored the gazes that followed him and continued to the kitchen. They didn’t have much in the kitchen yet- tomorrow Lance’s parents would bring in food for the week, but they had enough non perishables to get a decent meal. He wasn’t surprised that his family hadn’t woken them up for dinner. It would take them at least another day to make any semblance of communication, no matter how awkward. If they didn’t, Lance would take matters into his own hands.

  
Their dinner was cereal and milk, simple but enough to hold them over until the next morning. They talked quietly together as they ate. Lance told Shiro and Keith that he’d unpacked for them while they had slept, laughing when they attacked him with hugs and quick presses of their lips to his in thanks. They talked about their plans for tomorrow.

  
The next morning, they would go up to the ski and snowboard resort. Lance would teach them how to ski and pay for their rentals, even if they argued about it, but that was tomorrow. All that mattered was the present. It was night, it was cold and they were the only ones supporting each other. They had no allies in the cabin except for one another, and they refused to be separated.

  
Once they were back in the bedroom, they changed from their day clothes into comfortable clothing they could sleep in. They’d slept most of the day away, but the McClain family was exhausting and had a knack for draining a person’s energy. Besides that, they’d gotten up early in the morning and it was starting to wear on them. By the time they fell back into bed, sleep was curling itself around the edges of Lance’s mind.

  
Although they were tired, they didn’t sleep immediately. They hadn’t had much time to talk to one another that day, so the few remaining hours of the night was spent in quiet conversation, low and mumbled.

  
“How long is the drive to the resort?” Keith asked, turning onto his stomach. He traced shapes onto Shiro’s chest, and Lance watched the movement of his hand lazily.

  
“It’s about an hour and a half from here. Don’t worry though, as soon as we get there we can split off from the rest of my family.” Lance murmured, eyes hooded with tiredness. “I have to teach you both how to ski, so it’ll probably be a day at least before we hit the slopes. Even then, it’ll only be the smaller slopes until you get used to the motions.”

  
“How long have you been skiing, Lance?” Shiro asked. Affection radiated from his smile, so bright Lance’s chest tightened in response.

  
He rolled onto his back, away from the view. “Pretty much my whole life. It’s a tradition to come up here so I’ve spent a lot of time skiing.”

  
“So you’re basically a master then?” Keith asked. Lance could hear the smile in his voice, could imagine his eyes crinkling.

  
“I wouldn’t say that, but I can definitely teach you guys the basics tomorrow.” Lance had taught other people briefly. He’d gotten a summer job at the resort junior year of high school, the year he’d developed his first crush on a boy. He didn’t know how to react, but he knew his family wouldn’t be accepting, and he knew he couldn’t stay in the same house as them, knowing who he was.

  
He moved into the cabin for the summer, promised his parents he’d call twice daily, and was able to spend the three months of his summer without having to watch everything he did. Lance enjoyed it, he truly had. The freedom he had was mindblowing, and he loved the thought of being responsible for himself. He’d gotten to teach people of all ages how to ski, and he’d never been happier.

  
But as summer came to an end and senior year approached, he had to leave. By the time he was back in his parent’s house, he’d learned how to conceal everything. As far as they knew, he was still their son Lance, still the heterosexual boy they had raised. Lance was so glad when he came out to them. Even if it was hard right now, he was responsible for himself. He could take care of himself and he knew it, and now he had great friends too.

  
He crawled under the covers, joined quickly by Shiro and Keith. They tangled together, legs rubbing softly, slowly, hands twined together. Lance’s eyes drifted shut, a soft smile spreading on his lips as sleep claimed his mind. “You guys are the best.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried really hard to get this out as soon as I could because of last week. I want to also put out a note that updates might not be as constant as they have been lately. My schedule is about to get really hectic. I just wanted you guys to know!  
> This is kinda just a soft chapter where our boys get the rest they deserve. I hope you guys enjoyed it! As always, comments and kudos are appreciated!


	8. Realization

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's a moment when everything clicks- and then Lance is gone.

Waking up felt like a dream. Sandwiched between Keith and Shiro’s sleeping bodies, Lance couldn’t find the will to move. He was so warm, the weight of Shiro’s arm around his waist and the gust of Keith’s breath across his forehead a blanket of security. Lance wriggled closer, pressing down into the mattress with a smile on his lips, eyes falling closed.

A quiet mumbled drifted from his lips sleepily as Shiro’s grip tightened around Lance’s waist. His smile stretched into a grin, heart skipping a beat or two at Shiro’s unconscious actions. Lance’s eyes shot open at the strange feeling in his chest, automatically gasping at the odd sensation. He could only remember one previous time when his heart had done something like that, and it was when he’d seen the first boy he ever had a crush on smile at him.

Lance could still remember the way his cheeks had heated up immediately, could remember his legs pushing into a run before he consciously made the effort. He had run away from him, clutching at his chest as his mind raced through thoughts so fast it started to give him a headache. Lance remembered his feet skidding to a stop as the bold realization hit him, and his heart jumped in response: he had a crush on the boy.

It was kind of like what was happening now. As hard as Lance tried to learn from past mistakes, he couldn’t help but repeat his actions from that day. His heart throbbed in his chest, breath coming in shallow gasps. Lance could feel his control slipping, could feel his mind starting to race through all the interactions they’d had in the last week since he had met Shiro and Keith. His throat constricted.

Legs working furiously, Lance freed himself from beneath the covers. He pushed himself onto his knees. The mattress shook as he shakily stood to his feet, tripping out of the bed. Keith and Shiro looked down at him from the bed, eyes bleary with sleep. Lance winced, realizing he had woken them up in his rush to get out from between them. His heart raced in his ribcage, shoulders and chest heaving with every inhale and caving with every exhale.

It felt like there wasn’t enough oxygen in the room as Keith’s voice, roughened with sleep reached him. “Lance? What are you doing?”

Before he could answer, Shiro joined in, voice sounding like slurred gravel, “Is everything okay?”

“I-It’s fine go back to sleep. I’m sorry I woke you.” Lance choked out, pushing himself to his feet before running out of the room. He ran past everyone gathered in the living, barely stopping to tug on shoes and forging a jacket altogether before he was outside, running down the street. He ran as fast as he could, long legs striking the ground furiously as he ran from the cabins, ran from Shiro and Keith. His chest heaved violently with every step, the cold morning air biting at his exposed skin.

Vision blurring with tears, Lance didn’t see the rock protruding from the ground. He tumbled, body colliding harshly with the packed snow. Kneeling among the damp, cold pricking at his exposed forearms, Lance let his tears fall freely. His body shook as sobs wracked his chest. Cries echoed through the surrounding areas, bouncing off of trees. Lance couldn’t feel his pants grow wet with cold, he could only feel the jolts that clashed around his chest with every inhale.

“I can’t,” He whimpered. “I can’t like them. This is a fake relationship, it was never meant to be real. How could I have let myself fall so far into this illusion?” His hands gripped at his hair, tugging harshly.

Lance didn’t know how long he sat on the side of the road among piles of dirty snow. By the time he stood up to start walking back to the cabins, his eyes were red-rimmed, cheeks painted red and body shivering from the cold. The sky had grown lighter, so he could assume that he’d been away for an hour at the very least.

So lost in thought, the walk went by faster than Lance had anticipated. When he pushed the door open, he still hadn’t gotten a grip on his emotions. Immediately, the tense atmosphere flooded over him. Before he could guess why, he was yanked out of the doorway and pulled into someone’s arms. Belatedly, he realized it was Shiro and Keith buzzing around him worriedly.

Shiro’s hand gripped Lance’s chin softly, tilting his face up. “Why are your eyes so red?” He frowned, gaze narrowing. “And why do your cheeks look wet?”

“Lance you’re shivering.” Keith said, hovering at his side.

He blinked slowly, looking between Shiro and Keith. Lance could read the concern in their faces easily, could see it in Keith’s fidgeting and feel it in Shiro’s grip. He flinched as his heart skipped another beat. Closing his eyes as they started to water once more, he slipped out of their grip and turned towards the room they shared. “I’m fine. I’m going to take a quick shower.”

His footsteps echoed loudly as he crossed the room, swiping angrily at a stray tear. The shower he took was quick and warm. When he exited the stall, the numbness in his body was starting to fade. While showering, he’d decided to act as he normally did. It would be best to keep his feelings a secret, keep them hidden away. Shiro and Keith were dating, and Lance had no right to infringe on their happiness.

They were doing him a favor and that was all. Sure, they’d quickly become friends but that was all they were, and all they would ever be. Lance had no fantasies about them accepting or returning his feelings. Keeping quiet was the right choice. He didn’t want to lose them because he had started to believe their act.

“This is a fake relationship. It’s not real. We’re friends.” He muttered quietly, tugging on his shirt. It became a mantra in his head, repeated whenever he needed to be reminded of his place in their lives.

He took a second to just breathe, to calm his racing mind and slow down his heart. Lance could do this. He was a bit dusty, but Lance knew that he could slip back into his old habits when he needed to. Right now, with his emotions all over the place and his mind racing with his epiphany, Lance knew that mask was needed.

He shook his shoulders, huffed a sigh and pulled on a rusty smile, one that didn’t quite meet his eyes. Out of practice as he was, he would fall back into it quick enough. The second he stepped out of the bathroom dressed in a pair of jeans and a long-sleeved shirt, Shiro and Keith met his eyes.

He tried not to flinch, he really did. They wanted to talk; he could see it in their eyes. Their questions weighed down the air around them, getting thicker the closer he got to them. Saying that he was grateful for his family wasn’t something that occurred very much these days, but Lance felt his anxiety lessen slightly as his mother demanded that everyone get in the cars so they could start the drive to Yosemite Ski and Snowboard Area. They had snow gear packed in the trunk; pants, coats, hats, gloves and skis all bundled together, ready to go.

Of course, Lance knew that he had to stick to Shiro and Keith. They had an image they needed to keep up. If he didn’t sit next to them like he was expected to, warning bells would sound in his family’s minds and they’d call him out. If he pulled away from them in any noticeable way, they would call him out.

Lance realized that probably wasn’t doing the best job of acting the same as the first night, but he couldn’t exactly help that. He had never meant to fall for them. He never even had the intention. The thought had crossed his mind and he hadn’t doubted the possibility; even from the beginning Shiro and Keith had been beyond charming. They’d been handsome and kind, funny and smart, and Lance had been dragged in by them.

He hadn’t even noticed. Of course he’d been swept up by them; who wouldn’t be? Shiro was protectiveness; strong, fierce determination and gentle disposition. Keith was grace; smooth movements, sly remarks, but possessed the kindest touch a person could have. Lance wasn’t surprised he’d fallen for them both, he was surprised he hadn’t realized it earlier.

When had he started the process of falling for them? Had it been triggered the second he’d seen them in Paladins Books, or later, when they had held him through his sudden mood drop? He couldn’t be sure. It had all blended into a swirl of emotions and memories so soaked in happiness, all Lance could see when he looked back was the three of them bathed in gold, in joy.

He didn’t have many memories like that.

In fact, he didn’t have any memories like that. Shiro and Keith were the ones to give him such a bright memory. His _friends,_  Shiro and Keith. Right. Because that’s all they were, all that he could be to them. But they felt so good. So warm and gentle.

Lance’s mind didn’t stop working during the ride. It was all he thought about while they drove to the resort. He knew he should be more focused on the two people sitting on either side of him; it was rude to be so lost in thought. Whether they spoke to him or not, Lance couldn’t tell. He’d never been so lost in thought before, had never needed to think about something so intensely.

His train of thought was an endless loop. There was nothing wrong with it, but if he couldn’t think through his emotions, Lance knew it would be difficult to ease back into their dynamic. Acting on his emotions was impossible- Shiro and Keith were in a happy relationship. Even if Lance liked them both, wanted to be with them both, he was no homewrecker.

Seeing them happy and together was enough for Lance. The ache that welled up within his chest whenever he felt something too strongly was harsh, but it wasn’t unbearable. Lance would gladly suffer if it meant they could continue being happy, as self-sacrificing as it sounded. It wasn’t that he enjoyed feeling that way. He hated it, knowing that he would have some semblance of the relationship he almost-desperately wanted for the rest of the week, and then it would be over.

No more kissing, no more constant touches, no more fingers running through his hair or across his neck. No more anything. He would be back to his touch-sensitive state before long. Besides that, Lance didn’t know if Shiro and Keith were interested in a polyamorous relationship. Lance hadn’t met many people in a relationship like that, but he knew from the few he’d seem himself that it could be full of love- something he’d been lacking intensely for a while now.

He shook his head, a frown growing on his lips as he muttered quietly to himself. There was no way of knowing it was coming, otherwise Lance would have avoided it the best he could have. The downside to having to think his feelings through so acutely was that he tended to lose track of the world around him, so when Shiro’s breath ghosted across his cheek, carrying the words “What are you thinking so hard about, Lance?” with it, all Lance could do was freeze, feel the contrasting warmth grow in his cheeks as his chest clenched, cold with fear. He was overreacting, he was being ridiculous and he knew it.

Shiro wasn’t a mind reader; there was no way he could know the thoughts that troubled him. Nonetheless, Lance felt his body react as if he’d just confessed out loud. Shiro’s lips had dragged across his ear, barely there, and flashes of him passed through Lance’s mind at breathtaking speed.

The kisses they’d shared, the smiles he’d sent, the words he had uttered was all he could see for a moment. They consumed him completely, and Lance was helpless to do anything but let the waves of past sensations crash over him again and again and again. It wasn’t as if Shiro hadn’t done something like that before- he loved to tease, if only to draw reactions out of Keith and out of Lance.

The difference was Lance’s awareness had increased tenfold, and every touch sent an electric shock riding through his body. In the end, he’d avoided eye contact and waved off Shiro’s question, insisting he was going over how to best teach Keith and Shiro how to ski when they got to the Area, since it’d been a while and he didn’t want to forget anything..

Lance wasn’t as great of an actor when he was aware. Shiro and Keith’s touch burned into him for the rest of the ride. He desperately tried to get himself back into the mindset he’d started this all with, because he was the one who insisted this be done; he was at fault for his own precarious situation.

This was to show his parents off, to show them how well he was doing, and to piss them off one last time. Lance couldn’t afford to forget that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd first like to apologize for how long it's been since I posted.   
> I promise, the old updating schedule is on its way back!
> 
> Also, I'm sorry for doing that to Lance (not really though).  
> There wasn't much dialogue this time, because Lance had a lot to think about, but I hope you enjoyed it nonetheless! 
> 
> As always, comments and kudos are much appreciated. Thank you for sticking with this fic; it means a lot.


	9. Surprises

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance, Shiro and Keith have their first day at the resort, only for the good day to be ruined by a surprise visitor.

Shiro and Keith were unfairly good at skiing.

No, really. Lance only had to spend an hour teaching them both the basics of skiing. Sure, he had to correct their form a couple times but once they got the stance right, everything else was easy to learn. In no way were they pros, Lance knew and understood that. It didn’t matter how fast they had caught on, they only knew the basics.

For the first day, they would only ski down the small slopes specifically meant for beginners. Lance had been skiing since he could remember, he could easily ski down the hills designated for experts but he wanted to stay with Keith and Shiro. It wasn’t all for selfish reasons; yes, he wanted to talk to Shiro and Keith, wanted to feel their thoughtless touches on his too-hot skin. He wanted to see them laugh and smile and be happy around him, wanted to spend time together without the obvious disgust his family radiated hovering over them.

But he knew he had to watch over them. Not because they were new skiers, although that was also true, but because he was the one who had dragged them out here in the first place. Ditching them would be a horrible thing to do, and Lance wasn’t about to do that. But the sun danced warmly in the sky, grinning golden rays down on them as they flew down shallow slopes.

The wind burned against Lance’s face, pressing harsh kisses that brushed bright red onto his cheeks as he crouched on his skis. He flew down the slope, reveling in the speed, in the slow burn in his thighs as his muscles struggled to readapt to the strain. A small, blissful grin unfurled on his lips as he turned, skidding to a graceful stop. Skiing had been his passion since he was a kid, since he’d taken his first lesson.

He wasn’t a pro, nor was he the best skier out there, but he enjoyed it. There was nothing like the tear of wind against his skin, the burn of his muscles as he turns corners, bends to increase his speed, leans to avoid an obstacle. Nothing in the world could compare to the sun glinting of brilliant white snow, racing to blind the skier as they flew down the hill.

Lance shifted from a crouch into a standing position. His chest heaved, legs trembling softly, a thin sheen of sweat covering his forehead. He blinked, a laugh huffing out as his eyes slipped closed. Standing there, bathed in the warm sunlight that combated the cold air blowing softly around him, Lance felt the stress piled on his shoulders melt off. When he was skiing, nothing else could cross his mind. Skiing was the only thing that could clear and focus his mind like that. He felt all the worries about his newly realized feelings calm, and he knew what to do, how to relax around them as he had before. So caught up in relishing the sensations and the slow calming of his mind, Lance didn’t notice Shiro and Keith slide to a stop next to him. He missed the look of adoration they aimed at him.

Hours slipped by. They visited different slopes, but Lance would only let them ski down one of the intermediate hills. Shiro and Keith did fine, but Lance didn’t want to push his luck and cause an injury or accident, so they skied down the slope that he was the most familiar with. In between skiing sessions, Lance made sure to stop for water breaks. He didn’t want someone collapsing due to dehydration.

Even if it was common sense, he would blame himself if either Shiro or Keith collapsed. Although he told himself he was, Lance wasn’t responsible for them, not really. They were adults and were far more than capable of taking care of themselves, but while they were together on the trip, Lance would take responsibility for them, even if he didn’t vocalize it.

“You know, skiing is more fun than I thought it would be.” Keith admitted, smirking playfully in Lance’s direction. They were sitting in a small clearing. No one was walking between them, no one was muttering about them sitting in the walkway. Lance had been here a couple times before. He’d first found it when he had applied for a summer job at the resort.

Finding the clearing had been a complete accident, if he was being honest. Even though he’d been to the resort more times than he could count, Lance had ended up getting lost and finding the clearing. The snow had been undisturbed, so he knew that no one ever walked by that area. When he came back with his family that winter, it was a nice place to escape to.

“Would I ever lead you wrong?” Lance volleyed back, smiling at Keith as he pulled out the packed food from the basket. Maybe he was being too happy, but he was still coming off of the high he always got from skiing. He could feel the adrenalin slowing in his veins, exhilaration fading from his chest, but knew that the uncensored grin that stained his lips would be there to stay, at least for now.

Before they’d left, Lance had made sure to pack something to eat for lunch. By no means was it anything fancy; PB & J sandwiches and chips with some grapes. It was simple, but he hadn’t had enough time to make anything better. Perhaps he’d make them dinner that night to make up for it. They didn’t complain though, eating their sandwiches gratefully while cracking jokes and talking about how skiing felt for each of them. Lance couldn’t have felt more content. There was no nervous jitter to his movements now, no enforced distance. His mind and heart had calmed and he’d slipped right back into their dynamic.

“Why do you like skiing so much?” The question caught Lance off guard. He lifted his eyes to meet Shiro’s, eyebrows unconsciously raised in surprised.

“Well, uh, I guess it’s easier to focus when I ski. I have to concentrate on all of my movements otherwise something could go wrong. It helps me clear my mind.” Lance answered, frowning thoughtfully. “Although the adrenaline rush is nice too, and I like the feeling of the wind brushing against me when I’m skiing downhill.”

Shiro nodded, chewing on a grape. Keith smirked. “Are you an adrenaline junkie, Lance?” He asked, eyes hooded.

Lance looked away from his dark violet eyes, ignoring the possible innuendo that Keith had probably managed to sneak in there somehow. “Yeah, I guess you could say that.” He admitted with a casual shrug.

“Where do you think your family is right now?” Shiro asked, looking back the way they came. Keith followed his glance.

“I don’t really care, but if I had to guess, I would assume somewhere up by the expert slopes. They like to race down the steeper hills. There’s more obstacles and you get more drag resistance but there’s a lot more speed going down.” Lance answered, wiping his hands on a napkin. “If you’re worried about them finding this place you don’t have to be. No one knows where this is, believe me.”

“How perfect.” Keith said, eyes glinting. Immediately, Lance was suspicious. His eyes only ever glinted like that when he was planning something, and it almost always included Lance.

He shuffled backwards, putting more space between them as Keith set his food to the side and moved so he was kneeling. “Keith, wh-!” Before Lance could finish his sentence, Keith knocked him back so he was on the ground, straddled by his legs.

“What are you- mmf!” Lance’s words became muffled as Keith leaned down slowly, eyes searching, and pressed a kiss to his lips.

“Is this okay?” He asked, pulling away slightly to gauge Lance’s reaction. “You can tell me to move and I will.”

“No, it’s fine I just- I wasn’t expecting it.” Lance breathed out, looking up at Keith. “Can I ask what this is about though? Not that I’m complaining, of course. Because you’re a great kisser but this is kind of out of the blue.”

Keith chuckled, loose strands of dark hair curling around his pale face as his eyes crinkled with joy. Lance’s heart stuttered. “There’s not really a reason. The last time I kissed you was last night, which is a long time for me, and I haven’t touched you  _nearly_  enough today.”

“Ah, right. O-Okay.” Lance said, turning his head to break eye contact with Keith as his cheeks started to flush hotly.

Immediately, Keith’s laugh rang out, clear as a bell. Lance could feel his body shake has he laughed. “Look at this, Shiro!” He called, moving a hand to brush against Lance’s reddening cheek. “He’s blushing!”

Shiro’s build blocked Lance’s sight. He smiled softly down at him. “Isn’t he the cutest?” Shiro teased, crouching down so he could reach out a hand and brush his fingers through Lances hair. He cringed for the other man, knowing how his hair would feel after skiing.

“I’ll have you know my snow clothes are very warm.” Lance defended stubbornly, turning his head away. Even he could tell that was a weak retort, no matter how you looked at it.

Keith hummed, smiling at him before leaning down to suck a kiss into Lance’s throat. He winced, forgetting how much Keith enjoyed sucking marks into his and Shiro’s skin. The sting wasn’t too bad, soothed almost immediately by the cold air around them. Lance gave into the endless wave of affection, sighing and settling in.

* * *

Misfortune always found a way to stab Lance in the head. Repeatedly.

The drive back to the cabin was nothing short of awkward. They’d shown up at the car empty handed, expecting to have to wait for the rest of the McClain family only to find out they were the late ones. His siblings and their families along with his father had already left. Only his mother and oldest sister.When Lance’s mother and sister turned to look at them, the only thing that could be said about their reaction to the sight of the three boys was disbelief.

Which, of course, turned to disgust as soon as they connected whatever dots they thought they saw. Lance didn’t understand. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

“Did you really- No. You know what? I don’t care. Get in the car. We have guests back at the cabins and we’re late because of you.” His mother snapped, glaring at him.

When Lance actually did get in the car, he could understand their reactions. Or- he could understand their disbelief, but never their disgust. Lance looked like he’d been thoroughly ravished, over and over again. His hair stuck out at odd angles everywhere, neck bruised with kisses and bite marks. Gasping, Lance flushed furiously at his image in the rearview mirror.

He scrambled to brush his hair down, but there was nothing he could do to fix the marks on his neck. Not that Lance really wanted to. Only time could heal those. “You guys went totally overboard.” He hissed, glaring at Shiro and Keith half-heartedly. “Look at my neck!”

They grinned smugly, first at each other then at Lance. The unspoken “Our work here is done” hung in the air.

The drive was nice. All things considered, it really was. Lance, Shiro and Keith conversed quietly, talking about the next day at the resort and how they’d spend it. Keith had gone online- besides skiing, he wanted to try snow tubing and ziplining, and Lance agreed. It sounded like it would make a good day, all things considered.

When they pulled up to the cabin, they grabbed their snow clothes from the trunk and walked inside. With his head turned, talking to Shiro and Keith about tomorrow, Lance couldn’t have seen her coming. Suddenly, his body collided with something else, knocking him a step to the side. He immediately dropped his clothes, turning his head to apologize. “Sor-”

The girl clinging gave a shrill squeal, and planted her lips on his. “Lancey!”

Lance’s eyes widened with shock, then flicked over to Shiro and Keith. From the angle he’d been bumped to, he could just barely see them. They looked murderous, eyes glaring daggers at the girl kissing him.

Lance pushed her away fiercely, swiping at his lips crazily to get the red lipstick off of his skin. He’d never felt so disgusted, so ambushed. He’d never felt so mad before. _"What the hell, Sophia?"_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed the chapter! 
> 
> As always, comments and kudos are appreciated!
> 
> I have some stuff in store for you all with these next couple chapters!


	10. Betrayal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's a lot that Lance can deal with at once, but this? This is too much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> remember I love you.

In Lance’s vision, the world was shaking violently. It took him a moment to realize that it was his body that was shaking, not the world around him. He was off balanced, eyes filling with unshed, furious tears. There was nothing he could say that would truly encompass everything that he felt, no words to explain every throb of disgust and shame that coursed through his body.

 

There was nothing he could explain. The room was quiet, filled only with shocked silence broken by Lance’s raspy gasping. He felt strong arms he briefly realized as Shiro’s wrap around his waist, and then his sight was blocked slightly by Keith, standing in front of him, his hands twining with Lance’s.

 

He could only imagine what they looked like, the pair of them. Lance knew what they were doing. This position was to protect him from the others in the room. Even though he couldn’t see it himself, Lance knew they were glaring at Sophia, at everyone in the room. It was an unspoken dare: _'just try to break us away from him.'_ The soft brush of Shiro’s thumb against the sliver of his exposed stomach and the secure grip Keith held his hand with helped Lance center himself long enough to deal with the people in the room.

 

Clearing his throat, he stepped forward, trading Shiro’s hold around his waist for holding onto his hand. He addressed Sophia first, suspicion spiking. “Why are you here, Sophia?” He spat his words out like they were poison.

 

She tilted her head, eyebrows creasing in confusion. “Your mother invited me out.”

 

Suddenly everything made sense. It was an ugly truth, but Lance knew that his mother wasn’t above pulling something like this. He rounded on her, eyes blazing with fury. “Tell me this isn’t what I think it is.” He said, voice deep with anger. “Tell me you didn’t invite her out because you think it will somehow change who and what I am.”

 

His mother raised her head meeting his eyes without shame. “Who you are currently involved with is not acceptable. Sophia is a wonderful person. She’s beautiful, sweet and kind and we’ve been friends with her family for years now. She would be good for you.”

 

“You don’t _get_  to make decisions about my love life!” Lance shouted, voice shaking with rage. “You can’t change me, Mama! How many times do I have to tell you this? I am who I am! I’m in love with Shiro and Keith, and you’re going to have to get over it!” His grip tightened unconsciously on their hands, tears threatening to choke him as he struggled to keep himself composed.

 

“You are not!” His mother countered, raising her own voice. “You cannot love a man, nevertheless two men at the same time, Lance! It’s unacceptable, and you’re bringing shame on your family for flouncing your body around like this!” She was emotionless. Lance didn’t hear any ounce of feeling in her voice, he could only hear the increasing volume with which she spoke.

 

“‘Flouncing my body-’ what do you think I’m _doing_  Mama?” He shouted, voice wavering as he took a step forward. “I’m not flouncing my body around anywhere! Why would you even _think_ anything like that?”

 

“Don’t give me that.” She muttered, crossing her arms as she glanced to Shiro and Keith behind Lance.

 

Lance flinched, feeling warmth rush to his cheeks. He understood her implication loud and clear. “You don’t get to decide who I do what with. And for whatever record I’m _sure_ you’re keeping, they haven’t done anything I didn’t want or ask them to do.” He snarled. “I can’t do this anymore.” He said as his tears finally started to slip down his face. “When we get back, I don’t want you contacting me again. You are _not_  my family.” He wasn’t surprised. This kind of thing was exactly something his mother would do to try and ‘fix’ him.

 

He was hurt, he was tired. He didn’t want to talk to her anymore and he wanted Sophia gone. Lance felt drained; he didn’t want to believe his mother had called her up just to try and tear him from Shiro and Keith, but he knew that was exactly what she’d done. His mother had all but confessed. Turning away, Lance let go of Shiro and Keith hands, headed to their room.

 

“And you are not my son.” His mother answered from behind him.

 

Lance stopped walking, eyes closing as he took a deep breath to steady himself. “Then I’m all the better for it.” He responded quietly.

 

Lance knew that Shiro and Keith were following him, he could hear their footsteps as they trailed after him quietly. Without stopping in the room, Lance walked straight to the bathroom, started a shower and jumped in before Shiro or Keith could stop him to talk. The hot water beat down on him furiously, turning his tanned skin slightly pink.

 

Amongst the hot water, Lance couldn’t keep control of himself. His bottom lip throbbed as his teeth dug into it, trying to keep any noise he made to a minimum. He cried, salty tears mixing with the water from the showerhead and becoming indistinguishable. Sobs wracked his body uncontrollably, barely muffled through the hand pressed to his mouth.

 

The walls were thin and blocked little noise. In the back of his mind, Lance knew that he wasn’t being that quiet. He knew that Shiro and Keith could probably hear him but he couldn’t bring himself to care. Lance’s chest ached with every inhale and exhale.

 

He wasn’t crying for the loss of his mother. The tears he shed weren’t for the sudden lack of a family. Lance had a family, back home. Hunk and Pidge had been his friends since high school, and Allura and Coran had become his family shortly after he’d moved out and started college. Now, he considered Shiro and Keith a part of his family as well.

 

He cried from exhaustion. There was only so much that Lance could take. Being forcibly kissed wasn’t something that he could deal with. Figuring out his mother had deliberately set it up to tear him, Shiro and Keith apart was too much to deal with in one day.

 

In the end, Lance sat in the shower under the warm spray until it ran cold. Having rushed into the bathroom without stopping, he didn’t have a change of clothes so he wrapped a towel around his waist and opened the door, rubbing a hand towel through his hair briskly to dry it. He kept his gaze locked on his feet as he walked to the drawers and pulled out an oversized sweatshirt, slipping it over his head before tugging on a pair of boxers and tossing his damp towel into the laundry basket.

 

Lance could feel Shiro and Keith’s eyes on him as he walked across the room, dressed and made his way to the bed, watching him from where they were curled together at the head of the bed. As he sat down, he felt Keith drape himself around his back. Shiro moved and kneeled between his legs, look up at him softly.

 

“Are you okay?” Keith whispered quietly, laying his head on Lance’s shoulder.

 

He nodded, rubbing a hand over his face tiredly, “I’m alright.”

 

Shiro drew Lance’s hand away from his face to replace it with his own and draw him down for a brief kiss, an innocent touch of lips for the sake of comfort and contact. Lance let Keith pull him away from Shiro and plant his own kiss on Lance’s lips, soft and sweet.

 

“I’m tired.” He whispered, eyes closed as his head rested against Keith’s.

 

“I know.” Shiro said just as quietly. “Come on. Let’s get in bed.” Lance heard his clothes rustle as he stood up, felt his gentle touch as Shiro coaxed him to his feet and led him around the bed. Keith had pulled the covers back, watching them with concerned eyes.

 

Exhaustion hit Lance fast and hard, weighing down his limbs so that climbing into bed took all the energy he had left. He collapsed on the bed, burying his face in the pillow as Shiro followed him under the covers. Unmoving, Lance felt Shiro wrap his arms tightly around his waist as Keith drew his face out of the pillow with a gentle hand.

 

He kept his eyes closed as Keith brushed a thumb across his cheekbone, moving closer to wrap his arms around Lance’s shoulders with a soft sigh. They didn’t press their lips to his or suck kisses into his exposed skin like the night before. Instead, they stayed close, legs twined together, holding him in their secure arms. It wasn’t about the physicality of it all, it was about the support their actions showed.

 

* * *

 

The drive to the resort the next morning was tense. Not even Shiro, Lance and Keith spoke to each other, the atmosphere was so thick. They’d been lucky, having snagged three seats in the car that Lance’s mother wasn’t driving. It felt like time was dragging by, but when the car was finally parked and everyone piled out, they were finally able to go off on their own.

 

“You guys go ahead and try out snow tubing.” Lance said, grabbing his skis and snagging the spare car key. “I’m going to hit a hill really quick, and then I’ll be there.”

 

“Are you alright?” Shiro asked, hand resting lightly on his shoulder. His brow wrinkled in concern.

 

Lance nodded, brushing Shiro’s hand off as he turned in the direction of the hills. “I’m fine, don’t worry about it.”

 

Snow crunched underneath his boots with every step he took, sounding irrationally loud. A faint tendril of guilt wrapped around his chest, tightening the further Lance got from Shiro and Keith. Maybe he’d been too rude, brushing Shiro aside so coldly like that. He stopped in his tracks immediately, frowning. Dropping his skis gently on the snow covered ground, Lance turned around running back towards them. “Hey!” He called.

 

Lance’s body crashed into Shiro’s, hands coming up to grip the sides of his face and pull him down for a kiss. The only thing that kept them upright was Shiro’s strength and quick reflexes. The push and pull of their kiss was brief- over and gone within seconds. Lance turned out of the kiss to grab Keith’s collar and pull him closer, planting a kiss on his lips too. He could feel Keith’s smirk bloom underneath his mouth, feel the deep chuckle reverberate through the chasm of his chest before he pulled back.

 

A dark flush was high on his cheeks, and Lance could see how Keith’s eyes were considerably darker than normal. He spared a second to scowl at him before clearing his throat wrapping his arms around them in a hug. “I just need to clear my head. I’m fine, I promise.” He whispered. Then he let go, jogging back to his skis with a wave tossed over his shoulder.

 

For some reason, the line for the lift to get to the expert hills was short. Lance wasn’t about to complain though. He just needed a little time to clear his head, to get rid of the weight that lingered in his chest from the night before. He shook his head, pulling the goggles resting on his forehead down to protect his eyes, and pushed off of the lift.

 

His legs jerked as they absorbed the shock of the sudden impact and then he was off, pressure building in his chest until it exploded in a single hoarse yell. He tensed around curves, relaxed down clear paths, and swerved to avoid trees and boulders that blocked his path. Once again, the wind bit into his cheeks, tore against his clothes.

 

It was a race for calm, this time. Lance could feel the adrenaline pound through his body, the chemical release the exact opposite of what he needed, what he craved. It didn’t matter though, because the adrenaline helped clear his mind. His vision tunneled, focusing only on what was in front of him. Everything was wiped from his mind at that moment, and it was just Lance and the flex of his body, the cold of the air and the sound of his skis as they flew over the snow.

 

Snow flew up in white puffs as he angles his skis and skidded to a stop at the bottom, chest heaving. “Again.” He said, body trembling.

 

By the time Lance was making his way to the snow tubing area, he’d hit the all the familiar expert slopes, somehow managing to avoid his family at the same time. His leg vibrated, followed quickly by a sharp, generic sound as his phone started ringing.

 

Lance dug around in his pocket, searching for the sleek device. When he looked at the screen, he frowned, confused. He didn’t recognize the phone number, but the area code matched his location. “Hello?”

 

“Is this Lance McClain?” The voice on the other side of the call was cold and professional.

 

“Uh, yes, this is. Who is this?” Lance could feel his palms start to sweat as dread began to build in his stomach.

 

“This is Doctor Kim from the Yosemite Medical Clinic.” The man said. “There’s been an accident regarding a Takashi Shirogane.”

 

Lance wasn’t sure if the doctor continued to speak. The second Shiro’s name had left his mouth, he was turning on the ball of his feet and sprinting back to the car, struggling to pull the spare key from his pocket and keep his phone in his hands.

 

“I’m on my way!”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello please don't be too mad.
> 
> I promise he's not dead.
> 
> Anyway! I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! I will confess that I've never been skiing so I'm just stumbling my way through this, I'm sorry.
> 
> Kudos and Comments are always appreciated from lovely people such as yourselves.


	11. Apologies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's not Lance that oversteps an unseen boundary and hurts them, it's Keith, and it's a hurt that only serves to confirm Lance's thoughts.

Lance rushed into the small clinic that passed as the hospital near the resort, legs shaking with nervous adrenaline. He ignored the receptionist that greeted him and ran past the desk into the waiting room. Hands shaking, chest heaving as his eyes dashed through the clinic, he looked for the dark mop of a mullet. The longer it took to find him, the worse his legs and hands shook, the harder his breath came.

  
When Lance finally spotted him, bent over in a chair with his head in his hands, his legs almost gave out from relief. Feet moving of their own accord, Lance was hurrying to Keith, not caring who he shoved past at the moment.

  
“Keith-” It sounded exactly like what it was; a strangled, panicked cry that tripped itself up on the way out. Keith looked up and met Lance’s eyes. Five feet away, Lance stopped immediately, floored.

  
He watched, stunned, as Keith jumped out of his chair and marched to him, anger radiating off him. Lance saw, as if he was a bystander, Keith’s hands connect with his chest and he was shoved back. “Where _the hell_  were you?” He snarled.

  
Lance gazed back, eyes wide. All the words he wanted to voice as an explanation got lodged in his throat, silenced by Keith’s anger. “Where were you, Lance?” He shouted, voice breaking on the last syllable of Lance’s name.

  
He flinched. “I-I’m so sorry Keith-” Lance hedged, reaching out a hesitant hand.

  
“I don’t want your apologies.” He shoved Lance’s hand away, eyes glaring fiercely at him.

  
His breath tripped in his lungs as a dull ache shot through his chest at Keith’s rejection. “Is Shiro okay?” Lance asked instead, curling his hand into an empty fist.

  
“I don’t know.” Keith’s voice shattered. “I don’t know, Lance. They won’t tell me anything.”

  
Somewhere in the back of his mind, a light bulb went on off. Lance moved fast, while Keith was staring at the ground, to gather him in his arms. As Keith struggled, landing blow after blow on his chest, on his shoulders, on his head, anywhere he could reach, Lance tightened his hold and took every hit.

  
“I’m here, I’m here, Keith.” He whispered quietly. It didn’t hurt; the blows were too sloppy, too weak to mean Keith was putting any effort in.

  
“You’re not _him."_  He whispered, body going limp in Lance’s arms. “You’re not Shiro.”

  
Lance closed his eyes. “I know. I know I’m not, and I’m sorry, but I’m still here. I’m right here, Keith.” He whispered, raising a hand to support Keith’s head.

  
His arms wound around Lance’s shoulders as he began to shake. Lance pretended his shirt wasn’t getting wet. He stood still, supporting Keith’s weight as he rubbed his back, whispered reassurances, held him. Lance wasn’t Shiro to Keith, he knew that. He knew that just as he knew that Keith wasn’t Shiro to him, and he wasn’t Keith to Shiro.

  
But that was okay, because they each meant something different to the other.

  
“Come on,” Lance whispered. “Let’s go see what we can find out about our boy.”

  
He had connections at the clinic. Lance was not stranger to the workers, having needed their services many times himself as well as volunteering for them in the past. Maybe he needed to pull some strings to get some information, but he could get it.   
“Takashi Shirogane?” Doctor Smith asked, frowning as he scanned the clipboard in his hands. “Oh! He’s the patient in room 24. He’s doing fine. In fact, for the spill he apparently took, it’s a miracle.”

  
Lance frowned, feeling Keith’s hold tighten on his hand. “What do you mean?”

  
“Typically, when people take spills while they’re snow tubing they end up with broken bones. Takashi had none. At the worst he has some bad bruises and scratches. It must not have been as bad of an accident as you originally thought.” He explained, flipping through the papers on his clipboard before tucking it under his arm. “I don’t know why you weren’t informed of this earlier, Mr. Kogane, I apologize. You two can go in if you’d like. It was nice to see you again, Lance.”

  
Lance thanked Doctor Smith, feeling Keith sag against him as he led him down to Shiro’s room. The second the door was open, Keith was tripping over his feet in his haste to reach Shiro, bypassing the chairs all at once. A smile pulled at Lance’s lips as he watched Keith with the other man. He muttered quietly to Shiro, hands fluttering around his face, his chest until Shiro captured his hands with his own and smiled softly at Keith.

  
Lance closed the door quietly, dragging a chair to the side of the bed for him. He tapped Keith’s shoulder to tell him to get up, then settled in a chair of his own a little ways away from the bed. Better to let them have some time by themselves before he asks Shiro how he’s doing himself, Lance figured. He closed his eyes, settling in to wait until Keith was calmer.

  
A few minutes later, Lance opened his eyes at a tap on his knee. Keith had turned the chair around so he was looking at Lance instead of Shiro now. He shot a small smile at him before looking at Shiro, asking him a voiceless question. When Shiro nodded, Lance felt some of the tension in his shoulders drain with a soft, relieved sigh. Shiro was okay.

  
“Lance?” Keith called. The unusual smallness of his voice immediately caught Lance’s attention, causing worry to bubble up within him.

 

Lance hummed, shifting in his seat so he was leaning forward. Lance looked at Keith with a concerned frown.

  
He shifted in the chair, a sharp squeak piercing the air. “I’m sorry.” Keith whispered, lowering his gaze.

  
“Sorry?” Lance asked, tilting his head. He ducked to make eye contact with the other boy. “Sorry for what, Keith?”

  
He watched as a frown tugged at Keith’s bottom lip, forming a small pout. “For- for saying that you weren’t Shiro.” He said, glancing at Lance before his eyes darted away. “You were just trying to help. I shouldn’t have said something like that.”

  
Lance felt himself soften at Keith’s words, a small smile popping up. “You don’t have to apologize. You were worried for your boyfriend, I understand. Don’t worry about it.” He reached out a hand hesitantly, recalling how Keith had slapped his hand aside an hour earlier.

  
He didn’t see Lance’s outstretched hand as he jumped out of the rickety chair and began pacing, anger once again starting to come off of him in waves. Or, that was what Lance hoped, because that was the second time Keith had rejected his advances and every time he did, it felt like a physical blow that took all his breath away, “It’s not okay!” Keith shouted, dragging a hand roughly through his dark hair.

  
“Keith.” Shiro said, voice low, and it sounded like a warning.

  
The other boy continued to pace as if he hadn’t heard Shiro speak at all. “I shouldn’t have said something like that! I should’ve never said that to you!”

  
Lance frowned, standing up to walk over to Keith. He interrupted his pacing, reaching out to set his arms on Keith’s shoulders and tangle his hands in his wild strands of hair. “Hey,” He whispered, locking eyes with Keith. He was surprised to see the anger that smoldered in the violet pair. It wasn’t aimed at him, that much he could tell. It was more directed toward Keith himself. Lance bumped his forehead against Keith’s gently before resting their foreheads together. “It’s okay, Keith. I know you didn’t mean it. You were worried about Shiro. It’s okay.”

  
Keith closed his eyes, arms winding around Lance’s waist as he rested his head on Lance’s shoulder. “No, it’s not.” He reiterated. “You’re in this too. I’m so sorry, Lance.”

  
He summoned a laugh to cover up the shudder that ripped through his body as Keith’s breath puffed against his neck. “I’m here temporarily. Like I said, it’s fine, apology accepted. I’m sorry he got hurt.” Lance closed his eyes against a blade of hurt that stabbed through his chest.

  
He let go of Keith, pausing to press a soft kiss to his cheek before walking over to Shiro. “Are they wanting to keep you overnight?” He asked, pulling up a chair next to Keith’s. With what Doctor Smith had said, Lance doubted they would, but he still asked, if only to hear Shiro’s voice directed at him.

  
Shiro took one of his hands in his own with a soft smile. His eyes looked hurt, but Lance didn’t want to find out why. “They said I’m free to go whenever.” He answered, tracing lines across Lance’s hand.

  
“Your clothes should be on the other side of your bed,” Lance said, fingers twitching at the light touch. His eyes followed Shiro’s movements. “We can leave when you’re ready.”

  
The other man laughed, eyes locking with Lance’s. “I’m ready to go now, if that’s okay.”

  
Lance smiled, nodding. “I’ll let you get dressed then. I’m going to tell the doctor that we’re leaving and sign you out. Meet me at the reception desk.”

  
He let himself out, the door closing behind him with a soft click. Lance’s back thumped softly against the door as he let out a sigh. It got caught in his throat, sounding more like a sob than anything else. He coughed, rubbing a hand down his face as he walked down the hallway to sign Shiro out.

  
* * *

  
“Lance.” Keith whispered.

  
It was dark, the curtains drawn. The only light in the room came from the dimly glowing light of the alarm clocks on either bedside table. The three of them were curled together in bed, wound as tightly with each other as they could get. For the first time since Lance had started their fake relationship, Shiro was sandwiched between Keith and Lance. Typically, Lance had been the one between Keith and the other man, but Shiro had given them both a scare that day. Only holding him in their arms would be able to dispel any remaining worry, although it was sure to filter back in if either man thought about it too hard.

  
By the time they’d gotten back to the cabin, Lance was so exhausted, he was dead on his feet. It was all he could do to trudge to their room, clutching Shiro’s hand in his almost desperately. The most Lance could do was soak in a bath, too emotionally drained to gather any energy to wash his body or hair. He could do that tomorrow anyway.

  
“Yeah, Keith?” Lance said, leaning up on his elbow slightly so he could look at the other man. It was a useless move; Keith had his back to Lance, the only thing to meet his eyes was a head of dark hair.

  
He fell quiet after Lance responded, and enough time passed that Lance began to think Keith had fallen asleep without saying what he had planned to. Untangling himself from Shiro’s back, Lance padded quietly to the other side of the bed, kneeling next to Keith’s head.

  
The tears that greeted him took him by surprise and sent concern shooting through his body as he lunged forward, clasping Keith’s face in his hands. “Keith? Keith, what’s wrong? Why are you crying?” He frantically wiped the tears as they fell.

  
“I’m sorry.” There were no wet sobs, no shake of Keith’s body as he cried. It was completely and utterly quiet. Maybe that’s why it broke Lance’s heart so much.

  
“I already accepted your apology.” He whispered, smiling gently as he leaned up to kiss Keith’s forehead.

  
“You know I care about you, right?” Keith asked quietly, wrapping a hand around Lance’s wrist. There was a silent plea in his deep violet eyes, shining desperately in the dark of the room.

  
“I know, I promise, alright?” Lance said, threading his fingers through Keith’s loose hair. He smiled through the ache in his heart. Of course Keith cared for him, he knew that. They were friends after all.

  
“Sleep with me,” Keith pleaded, and finally, _finally_  his voice broke quietly and the bed gave a shudder to match the tremble of his bottom lip. “Please.”

  
Every thought whirling through his mind screeched to a halt, and then melted like ice in the summer sun. Lance felt his resolve weaken, felt it crack and then break, because this wasn’t the Keith he knew. The Keith he knew was all snark, all sass and sarcasm, taking what he wanted, but only if Lance consented. The person laying in front of him felt vulnerable, and as he saw the desperation swirling in Keith’s eyes grow, he knew this was a request that he couldn’t deny the other man, not now.

  
“Alright,” Lance agreed. He stood as Keith worked to move Shiro to the other side of the bed. Having lived with him for a few years, he knew exactly how to move him so Shiro didn’t wake, and as a space appeared on the mattress next to Keith, Lance laid down. His body had barely hit the mattress before Keith was pulling him into his chest, tightly wrapping an arm around his shoulders as if he was afraid Lance would disappear if he wasn’t holding onto him. He curled an arm around Keith’s waist, settling in for the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keith is such a jerk huh? (I'm kidding I love him okay, I really do).
> 
> Anyways, here's a late update, I apologize. I'm thinking there are anywhere between two to three more chapters in this fic until it's completed. I really want to say thank you to everyone who has read my fic, whether they stayed with it or not. I'm grateful to each of you. 
> 
> I've only recently come back to writing after a decent chunk of time passed as a "break" so your support and kind words mean a lot. I haven't been posting on Archive for a very long time but I've received nothing but support despite my nerves and my rusty writing.
> 
> Of course, Kudos and comments are always welcomed and appreciated. I promise to work hard to improve my writing for you guys, even if you decide not to follow any other of my works.


	12. Come Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All they had to do was ask.

When the rest of the McClain family went to the resort for the final day, Lance made Shiro and Keith stay at the cabin. He was hesitant to go back with the two men, but more worried about Shiro. The older man himself had said he’d been fine, and the doctors had given him a clean bill of health but Lance still worried over him. He had rented Shiro and Keith’s skis on Wednesday for the duration of the week, but the final day where they weren’t used wouldn’t hurt much.

 

Lance wished everything had remained the same. At the least, he wished he could say that it did, but it didn’t. Shiro and Keith hadn’t changed and their behavior towards him hadn’t changed. Always, they were holding his hand or clinging to his back or pressing kisses to his skin, clothed or bare, but something had shifted and Lance knew it had happened inside of himself.

 

Keith’s words rang in his head repeatedly, sometimes quiet, sometimes loud enough Lance was irrationally worried the other two could hear it as well. They never seemed to pick up on it, and he was glad for that fact. It meant the mask that Lance had been steadily cleaning and exercising was once again flawlessly functional. He pulled a smile, gathered a laugh, snatched a joke, returned every ounce of affection delivered to him and more. Because it was expected of him.

 

There was no reason to have to hide his situation from Keith and Shiro, but nevertheless that’s what he did. He buried it, deep, and played life as if everything was fine, because it should have been. The plan Lance had come up with to anger his parents was working extremely well, better than he’d imagined in the first place, but there was something missing.

 

Aware as he was of exactly _what_ it was that was missing, Lance hid from it. He flailed, feeling utterly alone and lost. That wasn’t the case, and he knew it wasn’t; people cared for him back home, back on campus. Shiro and Keith cared for him, and Lance knew that was fact rather than assumption because he could read it in their eyes every time they looked at him, could feel it every time Keith played with his hair or with his hands. He could feel it every time Shiro picked him up and shifted so that Lance was sitting in his lap rather than alongside him.

 

They cared for him a lot, but that was what hurt him the most. Or, that was what conclusion he had come to after hours of plowing through his thoughts and analyzing his feelings. Shiro and Keith cared for him, perhaps they even loved him, but not on the same level Lance loved them. He tried to tell himself that it was okay, and he could learn to be content with being their friend, but he wasn’t.

 

There would always that burning itch under his skin that called, begged, for their touch, for their affection. Maybe Lance could be okay with just being their friend, but he would always have the desire to be more. He couldn’t ever tell them any of this, could never reveal the conflicted feelings that swirled in his chest.

 

Shiro and Keith were happy together. That much, Lance knew for sure. He was happy for them, too, because in the end the only thing he wanted for the two men was for them to be happy.

 

“Hey, Lance. You okay?” Shiro asked, voice fading in as Lance blinked and turned to look at him.

 

He frowned, realizing the swirling colors that flooded his vision was a result of tear build up. “Yeah, I’m okay.” Lance muttered, blinking rapidly to clear his eyes.

 

Keith frowned, leaning forward so he could meet Lance’s eyes, “Are you sure? You looked like you were about to cry…”

 

Smiling, Lance let out a small chuckle as he stood up, pulling Shiro’s arm off of his waist. He grabbed their empty hot chocolate mugs, the sharp clinking sound covering the waver in his voice. “I’m fine, don’t worry.”

 

With his back to Shiro and Keith as he walked, he missed the glance they shared.

 

The second he was in the kitchen, Lance let out a sigh, tapping his head lightly with his free hand. “Stupid, stupid, stupid.” He muttered, scowling.

 

Keith poked his head into the kitchen, “Do you want to go for a walk? Shiro and I were thinking it’d be nice to get out of the house and get some fresh air before your family gets back.”

 

Lance nodded, smiling as he turned. “Yeah, that sounds good. Let's go.”

 

Cold air greeted them as they stepped out of the cabin, and Lance buried his chin in the scarf woven haphazardly around his neck. At first, the three boys walked in silence as they traveled down the road.

 

“What do you think will happen when we get back?” Shiro asked, quiet voice breaking the silence. Small puffs of white floated up.

 

“I’d imagine school will jump right back into it and everyone will be swamped and stressed in no time.” Lance answered, shrugging.

 

“No, I mean- with us.” Shiro explained, casting a glance at Lance from the corner of his eye.

 

He frowned, focusing on the ground. Lance had to fight to keep his legs moving without stumbling from the clarification.

_They don’t know, they don’t know, they don’t know. Calm down, Lance, it’s fine,_ he thought furiously, resisting the rising panic that threatened to sweep him under, like the angry waves of the sea during a storm. “Well, I assume you and Keith would continue living in your apartment, I would keep working at the bookstore. Maybe we’d cross paths once in awhile, if you guys stopped by to see Allura during one of my shifts. We might exchange a few texts on holidays or something, I don’t know.” Lance shrugged. “I haven’t thought that far ahead.”

 

Shiro hummed in response. This time, Lance didn’t miss the glace the two men shared, but he chose to ignore it nonetheless.

 

The rest of the walk passed in silence, which Lance was thankful for. Shiro and Keith seemed set on talking about things and topics he wanted to avoid, so the silence was a welcome reprieve from the uncomfortable situations his mouth often got him into. In all honesty, Lance didn’t know how he’d managed to keep his feelings for the two underwraps, verbally at least. He had no illusions about the break in his behavior and body language, but unless they’d been paying close attention to him, and Lance doubted they had been, he was in the clear.

 

Saying goodbye to Shiro and Keith wasn’t what he wanted to do, but as Thursday progressed from day to night, and the three of them climbed into bed, it seemed that time was running out.

 

Lance waited until Shiro and Keith’s breathing had evened out, signifying they were asleep before slithering out from between them and urging them closer with gentle hands. He was positive they wouldn’t notice his absence if they were closer together.

 

The cabin was quiet as Lance crept into the living room. With a sigh, he pulled the thick blanket from the back of the couch and laid down, curling up on the cushions as he let darkness consume him.

 

* * *

 

When he woke up, the sunlight that streamed through the window was strong. That was the only warning Lance got before everything fell apart. He blinked the sleep from his eyes slowly, sitting up. A throat cleared behind him and Lance flinched, turning with wide eyes. Breathing a mixed sigh of relief and trepidation, he stood up, facing his father.

 

“Where are your… boyfriends?”  He asked, leaning against the doorframe leading to the kitchen. He arched an eyebrow, arms crossed.

 

Lance opened his mouth, ready to pull an explanation out of thin air when, almost as if on cue, Shiro and Keith walk out of their shared room, clothed in baggy sleepwear. Keith slipped behind Lance, wrapping around him like ivy vines, fingers brushing against the strip of his exposed stomach. Shiro followed, pausing in front of him to deliver a morning kiss to Lance’s lips, hand cupping his chin as he leaned down to press their lips together softly before he linked their hands. Lance’s face was burning by the time his eyes opened again, and he looked at his father.

 

Without a word, the man left the room. Shiro shuffled him and Keith around so they’re sitting on the couch once more, Lance sitting in his lap. “We know what you’re doing.”

 

Lance laughed, reaching desperately for his cocky, confident smirk as he met Shiro’ eyes. “Of course you don’t, because there’s nothing _to_  know.” He moved to stand up, intending to take a shower.

 

Shiro’s fingers tightened on his waist, and Lance only had a moment to prepare himself before he was bodily moved back to the couch, head resting in Keith’s lap as Shiro crawled on top of him, weight settling carefully on his thighs.

 

His heart kicked into overdrive; Lance could feel that this was different- a turning point of some sort. Fear filtered in without thought, irrational and unneeded. “What the hell, Shiro.” He hissed, bucking his hips as he pushed up on his elbows. “Get off.”

 

“Just- wait.” Shiro requested. “Please.”

 

Lance flinched, knowing that they already won. He could never refuse them of anything they asked, and the barely controlled desperation in Shiro’s voice that he could just barely make out sealed his fate. “What?” Keith settled a hand in his hair.

 

It’s snippy and sharp, but Lance couldn’t help it. He could feel it- whatever _it_  was- building in the air, and it set him on edge. Possibilities ran through his mind, the worst one sticking solidly: they know.

 

“When did it stop being fake?” Shiro asked, and Lance knew in that moment that his control, which had been strained earlier, had snapped. The words were low, resembling a growl as Shiro spoke into his ear and wrapped a hand around Lance’s wrists.

 

The brief flash of pride that shot through him at the thought of Shiro losing his control because of _him_  was gone in a second, pushed aside to be dealt with later by a rigid layer of defnsiveness. “What?” He spat, eyes narrowing at Shiro.

 

Keith’s hand tightened into a fist in his hair, and Lance felt the sharp pull of his grip as his head was tipped back, neck exposed, to meet the other man’s eyes. Keith repeated Shiro’s words; his eyes were dark, swirling with thinly concealed emotions- desperation, hope, fear.

 

“Why does it matter?” Lance bit out, glaring. His walls broke, and hopelessness flooded him. He wished they weren’t talking about this, because Lance has never been good at keeping his own secrets and he knows it’s a matter of time before he spills. In sharp contrast to the war warring in his mind, contentment washed over him at his position- Lance wasn’t fragile. He could take a lot, and he liked to think that he knew his limits. Being treated so kindly by Shiro and Keith had been nice, but it felt like they’d been walking on glass around him. This- the weight of Shiro on his hips and the tight grip Keith had on his hair- this felt real.

 

Keith gave another tug on his hair- a wordless plea.

 

“The first morning we woke up here.” Lance finally admited, eyes falling shut as he twisted his wrists in Shiro’s grip nervously.

 

“Why didn’t you tell us?” Keith asked, and Lance flinches bodily, eyes snapping open to capture the look on his face. His typically smooth skin looked pinched in an effort to hold himself together, but his eyes swirled with hurt, with betrayal.

 

A silent gasp escaped Lance, and he twisted beneath Shiro, pushing upwards so he could sit facing Keith. He felt Shiro move, felt his legs cage him on either side as his arms draped around his waist. “W-wait.” He said, reaching for Keith. “I didn’t know if it was a good idea. Who tells people in a relationship that they like them? Especially when they’re in a situation like ours.” Lance lowered his voice. “This was supposed to be a fake relationship, remember?”

 

Keith’s voice wavered, thick with held-back emotion. “How could you not know we felt the same way? After everything- we never stopped touching you, Lance. We kissed you any chance we got. How could you not-”

 

“Hey.” Lance barked, narrowing his eyes. “You can’t put that on me. That’s not how anything works regarding relationships. You should have used your words. I can’t just assume everything.”

 

“He has a point, babe.” Shiro said, looking at Keith. “We should have told him we were interested in him. It’s not his fault. If anything, it’s ours.”

 

The other boy raised a hand to his face, rubbing furiously at his cheeks. “I know- _I know_ I’m just- I-”

 

“Whoa, whoa.” Lance said, reaching forward to tug Keith towards him. He moved his hands, wiping the stray tears softly before cupping his face. “It’s okay. In the future, use your words okay? Actions are great and they speak louder than words probably ever will, but you need to be clear with me, which means you need to vocalize your thoughts, and even your feelings.”  He pressed a quick kiss to Keith’s lips.

 

“Lance?” Shiro asked against his shoulder.

 

Lance hummed, turning to look at Shiro properly with a raised eyebrow.

 

“Go out with us for real,” He mumbled, burying his face in Lance’s shoulder. “Be our boyfriend.”

 

“Of course.” Lance laughed, running his hands through the shock of white bangs that decorated Shiro’s forehead. He felt the weight that had settled on his chest lift. “All you had to do was ask.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay so! This is the final chapter of No Strings Attached (But I'm Unraveling)! 
> 
> There WILL be an epilogue, which should be up relatively soon! (I'll write the sappy thank you note on that one)
> 
> Again, I apologize for the wait. These last few weeks have been hectic but everything is much calmer now!
> 
> As always, comments and kudos are madly appreciated. Thank you for reading!


	13. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Christmas, a year later.

**One Year Later**

 

The key slid home and Lance stepped into the apartment with a sigh. Hell Week was never fun, and always left him feeling exhausted and tense. Setting the keys on hook and pulling his shoes off, he trudged past the kitchen and into the bedroom. He flopped onto the king-sized bed with a tired groan, arms moving sluggishly to pull his jeans off and slip out of his shirt before Lance crawled under the blankets. 

Shiro and Keith would be home later. Keith had texted him during his shift to let him know they were going grocery shopping and it was likely Lance would get home before they did. The pillows and blankets smelled like a mix of different scents, but he could clearly pick out Shiro and Keith among it all. Lance sighed again, settling in closer with a soft smile before letting the waves of exhaustion drag him into sleep.

* * *

He woke up the next morning to early morning sunlight streaming through the cracked window and two warm, empty spots beside him in the bed. Yawning, Lance stretched before stumbling out of the room and into the kitchen. Keith and Shiro were standing at the counter, making coffee and flipping pancakes. 

Slurring a quiet “good morning,” and dropping sloppy kisses on their cheeks, Lance wrapped his arms around Shiro’s waist and buried his face between the man’s shoulder blades. He could feel the soft chuckle that traveled through his boyfriend’s torso. Shiro and Keith chuckled, mumbling quiet morning greetings in response.

“I missed you guys.” Lance said once the were seated on the couch with their pancakes, morning cartoons playing softly. 

“Yeah?” Keith asked, looking at Lance with a lopsided smile, adoration radiating from him.

Lance felt his throat and chest constrict, warm emotion swelling strongly in his chest. He wanted to kiss the soft smile that rested on Keith’s lips, and that was exactly what he did. The plate in his hands landed on table with a soft clink as he leaned over, fingers tangling in Keith’s soft hair immediately as his lips opened under Lance’s.

The kiss was a soft lull, the push and pull of Keith until Lance broke away to smile. “Sleeping alone isn’t fun.” He admitted quietly.

Keith leaned forward to press a soft kiss to Lance’s forehead in comfort. “You taste like syrup.” He wrinkled his nose.

Lance scoffed, “I taste delicious then.” 

“Do you think you’ll go home for Christmas?” Shiro asked, standing with his plate to put his dishes in the sink. “I know last year was a mess, but you’ve been texting your dad, haven’t you?”

Lance grabbed his plate and followed him. He remembered the disaster that had happened last Christmas. All the fighting, yelling and anxiety he’d experienced during that week. Everything that happened, he remembered. 

Sometimes, when his mood crashed and he was unable to do so much as leave the bed, he would remember when Shiro had gotten hurt. The fear and panic that had screamed through his body when he got the news that he’d been in an accident, followed by the bone-deep hurt when Keith had pushed him away, had denied Lance by saying he wasn’t Shiro. 

That hurt would resurface on those days, and insecurity and doubt would plague him until his mood eventually leveled out again. Lance never talked about it with either Shiro or Keith. Over the last year, his partners had come to realize that was something Lance was inclined to do; keep quiet about something that was bothering him, even more so if it had to do with their relationship.

Thankfully, they never seemed to notice on that part of his breaks. Lance was grateful for it; he knew that they cared for him, knew that they loved him (Shiro had confessed first, more ready and willing to talk about his emotions than Keith had been at the time. Keith had confessed when Shiro was studying in the library until late. They had been curled around each other in bed, settled in and ready to go to sleep when Keith had mumbled it quietly, then refused to let Lance twist around in his arms to see his face), but he still doubted. He didn’t blame them; this was his fault, doubting them when they’d done so much for him, had given up so much for him.

“No. I was only talking to him because I needed to get all my stuff from their house. I was being serious when I said not to contact me. As far as I’m concerned, they’re not my family. I’ll stay here for Christmas.” said Lance, putting his dishes in the sink and leaning against the counter. He pushed aside the thought, not walking to go down that path.

“You okay?” Shiro asked, running the water and quickly washing their dishes while Lance dried them.

He hesitated, frowning softly. “Yeah. I guess I’m just thinking about this time last year.”

Keith walked in, setting his plate in the sink before taking a spot next to Lance and putting the clean plates in the cupboard.

“Which part?” Shiro cast a look at Lance, concerned. 

He shrugged. “Um… S-sometimes I think about when you got hurt.” Lance said, avoiding either of his partners eyes. He could feel Keith stiffen beside him. “It’s not always, because I know you guys love me, and- and I love you guys a lot too. But I guess I just get a little insecure.” Lance let out a shaky laugh. “Because I’m not Shiro, and I’m not Keith. I wasn’t here at the beginning of your guys’ relationship, so I’m technically the add-on in the relationship. It’s.. not the same for the three of us. It’s different from when it was just you two. Keith already apologized though, and I’ve already forgiven him so I don’t know why it keeps bothering me sometimes. And like I said, I _know_  you guys love me because it’s been almost a year and I don’t think you’d do everything we’ve done together for an entire year, just for the sake of a joke. It’s not really that big of a deal.”

Silence fell on the kitchen, the only sound to be heard was the running water and clink of plates and silverware. Lance still didn’t look at either Shiro or Keith, and after a minute he felt their eyes leave his face. 

Keith cleared his throat and took Lance’s rag. “Lance? Can I talk to you for a second in the living room?”

Lance sighed, nodding as he followed Keith through the doorway. Shiro stayed where he was. Lance sat on the couch, Keith sitting in front of him on the edge of the table. Nervous energy sizzled under his skin as he watched his boyfriend held his hands, playing with Lance’s fingers. 

Keith took a deep breath, “I… I’m so sorry, Lance.” He began quietly, grip tightening on Lance’s hand. “I.. I’ve known Shiro for a long time. We’ve only been dating a few year, but I’ve known him since high school. I was the outcast. Everyone was afraid of me and I didn’t have the social skills to try to make any friends. Shiro’s the only reason I even made it to graduation and entered college. 

“He means a lot to me, and for years now he’s been my rock. I don't have many people in my life, even now. I was terrified to know that he’d gotten hurt, and I wasn’t being told anything at the clinic. It was hard to be so scared, so worried about him without knowing anything that was happening. I took it out on you. You didn’t deserve that, and I’m so, so sorry. 

“I love you, Lance. I love you in the same way I love Shiro. It’s inexcusable and I feel terrible about it.” Keith stood up, moving to straddle Lance’s lap. His hands came up to cup Lance’s jaw. “Whenever you feel like that, tell us. Please. I- I can’t imagine it’ll go away immediately but I hate the thought of you feeling like you’re just an add on when you’re not. You’re so much _more_  than that. When we started dating you, mine and Shiro’s relationship got better. It was easier to be in a relationship because you said yes to us. Dating you and Shiro was the best decision I’ve made in my life.”

Lance chuckled, reaching up to wipe off the stray tears falling down Keith’s cheeks. “It’s okay, Keith.” he said softly. “I already accepted your apology. I’m fine.”

“I’ll make it up to you.” Keith swore, resting his head against Lance’s. “I promise.”

Lance sighed, “I’m sure you will. C’mon, let’s see if Shiro needs help in the kitchen.”

Dating Shiro and Keith wasn’t always easy. There were times when Keith would snap at him, or yell at Shiro during final exams, but he always came to them with an apology ready at his lips, wearing his guilt on his sleeve. There were times where Lance would doubt his place, but he wasn’t the only one who had those doubts. No matter who it was, they others had words ready to reassure them. 

Nothing came easy in a relationship; it rarely ever did, but as Lance snuggled up to Shiro and Keith on the couch and flipped to a Christmas movie that was on, he knew he’d made the right decision. 

He was home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who read this fic. Your support means so much to me, and I'm glad so many people liked No Strings Attached.  
> Unfortunately, there will not be a sequel to this fic. It ends here, I'm sorry. I just don't see it going past this point- Lance is happy now, that's all I wanted for him at the end of this.   
> I will keep writing though!   
> I've been messing around with a Mafia AU for Voltron recently. I'm not sure how in-depth it'll be yet, but I am playing with the idea.  
> For now, I hope you look forward to my future works as well as check out some of my other works! There aren't that many, I'm afraid, but they are there for your viewing pleasure!  
> Thank you so much, everyone. I'm an inexperienced writer but you all gave your time to read my fic. I really appreciate it.  
> Feel free to reach out to me on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/00YSHS) or on [Tumblr!](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/seasonalreign)  
> Until next time!


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